Did you know there was an unaired Spongebob episode where the Empire tried to invade Bikini Bottom? No? Well, it just so happens you're lucky enough to have me around, as I was both a writer for Spongebob AND a Empire loyalist in a past life!
The Death Star had stopped from it's warp speed travel to hover near a small, blue planet. Darth Vader surveyed the unknown celestial body with curiosity.
"Sir, scans show that the planet houses intelligent life." the ensign stated, his screen blinking rapidly.
"Good. We will show them that they can flourish under the empire, and that if they resist us destruction is all that awaits them. Our influence beings expanding across this primitive planet now!" Vader affirmed, tightening his hand into a fist. "Prepare my shuttle for immediate launch!"
Spongebob touched the top of Gary's eye causing it to retract into his body.
"Bahahahaha!" Spongebob laughed as Gary's eye stalk re-erected, only for Spongebob to touch it again and have it once again retract. "Bahahahaha!"
Gary, annoyed with Spongebob's idiotic game opened his jaws and clamped them down on Spongebob's approaching finger.
"Gee Gary, I guess you're right. This game is getting old, but I just get so bored on my days off from the Krusty Krab. I know! I'll go hang out with my best friend Patrick!" Spongebob beamed with a smile, hitting his fist into his other open palm. At the same moment his doorbell sounded. "Speak of the Dutchman, Gary! That's probably Patrick now! Bahahaha!"
Spongebob skipped down the stairs from his room to welcome his pink visitor. He merrily opened the door expecting his pal, only to see an imposing figure dressed in all black before him. A mask covered his face and heavy breathing came from beneath it.
"I didn't know it was Halloween already! How the days do fly! I'm sure I have some candy around here somewhere little Boy!" Spongebob laughed.
"I am Darth Vader, hand of the Emperor. The people of your planet will join our Empire or die." Vader stated coldly to the uplooking Sponge.
"Bahahaha! You kids really get into character! Come in, come in! We'll find you that seanut brittle!"
"You misunderstand the power of the Dark Side. "
"Oh goodness! You're right!" Spongebob gasped. "I'll turn on all the lights immediately, it's rude to have my house guest wait around in the dark! Bahaha! Please sit down!"
Spongebob darted to the kitchen, flipping the light switches as he passed, and began digging through his drawers, throwing pots and pans onto the floor as Vader stood in confusion. Gary slithered up to Darth Vader and began to sniff his cape as Vader was distracted. Gary smiled as a giant realistic cat paw rose from out of his shell and swiped across the entire surface of the cape, shredding it into strands in one quick arc.
"You dare disrespect me!" Vader fumed as pieces of his black leather cape floated in the water. "You shall know the power of the Empire!"
"Meow." Gary responded, chewing on a piece of the cape. Vader rose his hand and separated his fingers, raising Gary into the air with his force powers. Gary retreated into his shell as he was lifted ever higher. As Vader began to apply pressure the shell slowly began to tighten.
"I see you're playing with my pal Gary! He just loooooooves strangers!" Spongebob exclaimed, popping out from behind Vader. Vader gasped, losing his concentration and causing his powers to wain temporarily, dropping Gary to the ground who disappeared in a flash of bubbles.
"How did you get there! What powers do you control?!" Vader shouted, still surprised.
"Bahahaha! The only power I have is being a courteous host! I couldn't find the seanut brittle for you, but I did find some of my old sundae in the freezer from months back!" he said pushing his hand towards Vader's face. In a much more detailed shot than the usual animation, Spongebob's hand held a dripping mess of ketchup, onions and peanuts as the sound of Dramatic Impact #3 filled Vader's ear holes.
"What is this foul concoction!" Vader screamed, falling backwards on his hands.
"Don't be shy, have as much as you want! Where's your pail? Oh, I guess you are wearing it on your head, silly! Bahaha! I guess I'll just jam it in there!" Spongebob laughed shoving the sundae up the sides of Vader's helmet.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vader screamed desperately gripping his helmet off and throwing it into across the room and falling into the corner, covering his face.
"Oh I'm sorry! I guess I should have waited for you to take it off first! Bahaha!" Spongebob chortled, pulling Vader's arm away from his uncovered face. Spongebob stared at his scared in burned face, which again appeared in a slowly zooming hand-drawn style as Dramatic Impact #5 played.
"Oh barnacles! Your costume is even better than I thought!" he screamed, falling on his back and rocking back and fourth laughing. Vader ran out the front door, only now realizing that this whole time he needed oxygen to live. He gripped at his throat as he lost consciousness. His extremities went limp as his body began to slowly float upward.
"Bye! See you next Halloween! Bahahaha!" Spongebob giggled as he waved to the lifeless body of the former Anakin Skywalker floating to the surface as blackness filled the screen in a circle shape completing around the body of Vader.
