Dear diary entry #6 - Today has been a meditative, thought provoking Journey finding myself through old literature. I have cleaned my room of the multiple Jugs which created a shrine of the urine that smelled that of Osama Bin Laden's anus. . My room now smells marginally better. I have found some solace in the fact that looking back on old messages from January. I was every bit as sporadic and uncollected with my reasoning. I really had no rational thought. And I had the same kind of Semi suicidal, self-loathing misery that I do now. Looking at those times as the good times. Is confusing considering I really haven't changed much. I feel like I beat myself up a lot. Over things I have little to no control over. I'm not sure if I am finding a light at the end of this Darkness. But I will say its a start.
Life is still a slowly sinking boat. But we can always keep wind in the sails. I feel if I am able to lift myself from these. Insecurity ashes, rip myself from the Cobblestone damp soaked streets of this foggy London misery. I think it'll do great wonders for my self-esteem moving forward in life because this is probably the most challenging obstacle to conquer. So if I conquer it. I might be able to conquer anything.
Edit 1: Seether has yet to notice me. He will not find the same warmth in his heart for me as he does dividends, bonds and santander stocks. I refuse to change the current shirt I am wearing until my senpai notices me. Just hand in hand, misquite hickory logs char as flames engulf the wood we stuffed into the fire. Just us and the expansiveness of mother nature, so unplugged. Millions of stars sparkle like glistening diamonds above us as we rest in a cotton blanket burrito. But none shine as bright as my pretty princess
the piece of puzzle. I am submissive to you. Typically I love control but i'll sacrarice for your love. Just hold me, never let me go. And call me your baby. Boy or girl! I cry becauae he already rejected me telephatically.