Transformers (2007) - Much like with the Resident Evil movies, I thought for kicks I'd give the Transformers series a rewatch with the new one coming up, a series I don't have a lot of love for, but unlike Resident Evil, I expect to enjoy more. I really liked Bumblebee as it was kind of a soft reboot if I remember right, and they had way better Transformer designs, and it felt less poorly written. The rest of the movies? I stopped at Age of Extinction, never saw Last Knight, but what I remember of the series was bad transformer designs and really bad writing/dialogue. I'm not expecting that to change, but maybe I could get good action out of this series.
And that's what the first movie is! Bad transformer designs, bad writing/dialogue, but overall some good action. For a 2007 movie and even if I don't like the designs, the robots look really good. It just starts to become a problem when you get them fighting together, and you got these robots with a million visible little parts, and a lot of the robots don't have very distinct colors or designs beyond like Optimus and Bumblebee and I guess that one medic truck. I think I remember hearing a term for this back in the day and seeing Transformers fight each other was like watching a tornado tear through a junkyard.
The dialogue in this is unbearable though. It's a lot of rambling, or cringy bad jokes, lots of fast talking, almost improv feeling, Sam yells a lot, the bad jokes never stop and I hate anything to do with the family. I will say though, they waste no time with the transformers, it's 5 minutes into the movie and a Decepticon is out there blowing up a military base and it's badass. The other fight in the desert is great too. Honestly, anytime it goes back to Sam, I'm just kinda annoyed and this is the stuff people are supposed to "connect" with, but I'd rather just see the military fighting Transformers lol This is what I was dreading most on this rewatch because I remember this goes for a few movies and at one point gets much worse.
Basically whenever there is action, it's a fun watch. Any other time, I really just want it to get back to the action, so that's a lot of the first 2/3rds of the movie. If I had to rate it? Maybe a 6.5/10? That might be a bit harsh, but a 7 or above has to have more I enjoy overall.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - I think I dislike this one more in general than the previous one. I wouldn't say it does much outright worse, other than the god damn miserable little car autobots that I hate with every fiber of my being. Writing and dialogue is still bad and obnoxious, I hate everything happening at the college, Sam's new buddy is obnoxious, I hate that the parents continue to get screen time. Maybe if I was like a teen, the writing/dialogue wouldn't bother me as much, but it's so bad lol
I feel like they really put the Autobots on the backburner in this one. Like in the first movie, they showed up later, so it was kinda okay, but they do so little in the movie outside of some of the fights. Bumblebee for some reason can't talk, I thought that was fixed in the first movie at the end, Optimus dies in the first half, and that just leaves the stupid freaking Mudflaps and Skids, who are the worst. Like a big plot point of the movie hinges on Sam giving the All Spark shard to his girlfriend, not Bumblebee or Optimus. Just super annoying. The action is okay, wasn't as into the fights, but I don't know if it does anything I'm particularly into more than the first one. I hate that humanoid Decepticon, I think them being people is kinda lame, like some weird Terminator knockoff.
Slight sidenote, but I kinda don't like Optimus's personality in this, in the cartoons, he's a strong leader who will fight if he has to, because it's necessary for a peaceful future, but he's not just like...shooting downed Decepticons in the head usually I feel. That's more of trait of like...Charles Bronson in Death Wish lol
I'd put this one at like a...6/10, maybe less than that. It's not unwatchable or anything, but wasn't super enjoying it. Also I don't know if this is just me, but I think the old Transformers, the original Primes, Fallen, and Jetfire, look like Bionicles lol
Transformers: Dark of the Moon - With this movie, I'm realizing that a bigger problem with the designs of the transformers is at its worst with the Decepticons, almost all of them are just this vaguely similar silver alien look, and while some have unique faces, they all otherwise feel the same and it sucks. The Autobots are at least a little more unique, but this movie feels like its at its worst with the designs. Even the movies before had some stuff like their vehicle forms so you could be like "That's the tank, that's the one military truck, that's the police car, etc..." Also bloodthirsty Optimus is kinda at his worst here lol Maybe I just have some rose-tinted glasses with Transformers, but I really feel like this is so out of character with him.
The movie I would say is an improvement over the last one, while there are obnoxious mini bots in this that are totally pointless, at least they aren't mudflaps and skids. Transformers do sorta feel like again they are secondary, it's almost entirely on Optimus and Sentinel Prime. Megan Fox is gone and replaced with someone new who I don't think is bad, but I can't say adds much to the movie. Story is just kinda okay. There is some obnoxious dialogue here and there, but overall, it's not nearly as bad and the whole big climatic battle is pretty good in the wrecked city.
I think because this movie was less obnoxious overall, I might say that I like it more than the first two, hard to say for the first one. I'd say it's a 7/10 at least, it's not amazing, but it's functional.
