Reuniting with old friends

[bikingjahuty]

I was curious to find out what people's opinions/feelings are on reuniting with old friends that you have not seen or hung out with in years?


My experience so far is that 90% of the time it is best to leave these relationships in the past and not try and rekindle what you used to have. People change over time, and the situation where you used to hang out and be close technically no longer exists. Because of that I find that when two people try to pick up where they left off two, three, five or even a decade later it just doesn't work out.


I guess I posted this because I have an old high school friend that I used to hang out with all the time who wants to hang out again because he'll be moving close to me again. We have been Facebook friends for years, but have not seen each other since probably 2006 after he joined the military and was on deployment for most of the remaining 2000s. We are both very different people than who we once were, and I honestly have next to no desire to want to hang out again with him. I guess I just feel like an asshole for feeling this way.

[ronchichio]

Every relationship is different.  I have friends that I haven't seen in years but when we encounter each other again things will continue the same, basically like picking up where we left off.  This is because I've been or still am tight with those friends but just haven't been in touch as much.  I also have friends that I'll see on social media but if I see them out and about I won't approach them and say hi or if I do get spotted the meeting can be awkward.  This is with people that I was never tight with, like a friend of a friend or a former coworker or an aquaintance.

[ignition365]

Awkward AF.

[turf]

You don't have to marry the guy.  Go hang out.  You never know.  You might have a good time.

[desocietas]

You don't have to marry the guy.  Go hang out.  You never know.  You might have a good time.

I agree. At least see him once for something simple like coffee or breakfast. It'll be awkward for sure initially, but it might be all right in person. You can keep the topics going about local stuff, like the best place to grab coffee or breakfast, lol.

I have a friend from high school I see every couple of months because we get along. We'll hang out as a group with folks she's stayed in touch with from high school, while for me, I'm not all that interested in maintaining a relationship with them. But it's all just at acquaintance level and polite. Just asking how work is and talk about a good restaurant they've been to, etc. I'm not always in the mood to hang out with them, but sometimes it's fun and occasionally nice to recall some old memories that I'd forgotten about. Like connecting with a cousin or something.

[retromangia]

Go hangout for a bit, you never know.  If it doesn't work out, then so be it, but at least you gave it a shot.  Good friends are hard to find.

[doafan]

I still hang out with two friends from University and every time that we got a meeting we share p0rn has nobody here can imagine, is not that I have that many free time so we do this at least two days in a fucking year but when see each others is simply epic, we used to play the Mario Kart version from the Game Cube every Saturday for at least five years, eventually two of us get married so this meetings as we used to call them became impossible but it's nice to play with them again even if it's for only a couple of days but is still better for me every time because I still kick their buts at any game 

[kashell]

I say go hang out for something simple like coffee or a light lunch. You might have a good time and re-make a good friend.

I've always enjoyed reconnecting with old friends, even if we are completely different people.

[Warmsignal]

I don't think it's a bad idea, but depends on the person I guess. Like, I had some friends back in the day that I could never relate to now, and to be honest we never had that much in common to begin with. However, my best friend from childhood I still talk to on a semi-regular basis. I haven't actually seen them in over 10 years, but we still talk because we always shared so much in common we were almost like the same person, and it seems that time isn't going to change that.

There might be a short awkwardness in first reuniting, but everything in life is kind of awkward at first. Also depends on if you really want someone else in your life right now. Sometimes you don't, or they might end up being a bit more invasive than what you'd prefer. Just some things you might have to consider when it comes to having friends at this point.