47 Ronin - Not as bad as I was expecting for a movie that is now considered the second worst box office bomb, cause it isn't anything particularly terrible, but man did they just not know what the fuck to do with this. Keanu Reeves character is so unnecesarily forced in to get a random white dude to be basically the hero of the story for no good reason. Did anyone not watch something like...Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I watched that in the theater when it released and it had subtitles, that movie did 128 million dollars in just the USA alone. You don't have to have some random white guy forcefully shoved in to a purely Japanese story.
For the most part the movie is just...average. For all the magic and fights in it, it's just so boring. There's no blood, deflating any of the drama, especially when two peoples heads get chopped off in this and they don't show an ounce of blood. Seppuku is shown twice in this, not a drop of blood. Kinda breaks the immersion. Combine all of the boring with just bad writing and bad promotion, you do have a really poor film. Know that badass Samurai giant you might've seen? Uselessly dies. Remember the promotion for this with that badass dude all tattooed and wielding a gun in the posters? I wouldn't even call him a side character. He gets like ten seconds of screen time if that. He doesn't even have a name. Why the fuck was he made out to be so important?
This movie isn't even worth taking a look at it. It's not so bad it's good, it's not even bad, it's just boring. I'm so wanting to be engrossed in Japanese culture right now, but I couldn't even give a fuck for this. Such a waste of money.