HOO BOY THIS IS TOUGH
It is my lifelong dream to play every Mario game.
Every.
Single.
One.
INCLUDING the Yoshi, Wario, and Donkey Kong games.
And there are some I might as well just accept I'll never play ( i.e. The Satellaview broadcast exclusives, 64DD Mario Artist games, and the original Mario Game and Watches, the Capcom Mario Party games...), so I'll just rank all the ones I have played here with a VERY brief analysis.
Notable exclusions: Paper Mario, Thousand Year Door, Color Splash, and Origami King (1 and TTYD are much too expensive for me to buy right now, and the Switch Online Expansion isn't worth it yet for me. I also don't own a Wii U and have no intention of getting one.)
Any Wario game (I'll get into the Wario Land and WarioWare serie$ one day, but there's too much else to play now.)
Basically every Mario Party (I'm so sorry, but they're also too expensive for me to buy right now.)
Any Game and Watch games/ Nelsonic game watch games (I'm looking to find the Game Boy G&W gallery games to try them, but not yet.)
Mario Educational games (Mario Teaches Typing, Mario is Missing, Mario's early years, Mario's game gallery, Mario's Time Machine..., I WOULD, however, put Hotel Mario near the top, but ONLY because the cutscenes have inspired a legit art form in the YouTube Poop.)
Any Virtual Boy game.
Without further ado, let's-a-go!
(Ranked from worst to best)
60. Mario Clock (haven't played, but it's just a clock. With Mario. Yes this is a purchasable DSi game.)
59. Mario Party Island Tour (3DS) (It's boring and unfun.)
58. Paper Mario: Sticker Star (3DS) (See previous entry. I just stopped playing it after the first mission.)
57. Yoshi's New Island (3DS) (Nintendo didn't even try to capture what made the original Yoshi's Island so magical. It's boring and cookie cutter, the music sounds like a kindergartener wrote it, and the bosses are so freaking easy.)
56. Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels (FDS) (It's so bad.)
55. Mario Kart Tour (iOS) (Microtransactions bad)
54. Mario Sports Superstars (3DS) (Horse Riding is interesting, but nothing else captured my interest.)
53. Mario Party: The Top 100 (3DS) (Thank God we got Superstars)
52. Donkey Kong 3 (NES) (You shoot Donkey Kong in the crotch, and avoid annoying enemies.)
51. Mario Party: Star Rush (3DS) (Not as bad as you'd think, but little to no effort was put into this.)
50. Donkey Kong (NES) (I respect this game more than I actually like it. Mario moves so clunkily, and it's just four levels that repeat themselves.)
49. Dr. Mario World (iOS) (Too different, and too simplified.)
48. Super Mario Kart (SNES) (Controls very poorly, and the A.I. is unfair)
47. Mario Kart: Super Circuit (GBA) (Slightly less unfair, but barely more fun. It does have a lot of tracks, and I commend it for that.)
46. Luigi's Mansion (GCN) (It's a nice enough game, but I don't like the controls for vacuuming up ghosts.)
45. Wario's Woods (NES) (Just a really standard puzzle game.)
44. Mario's Super Picross (SFC) (A surprisingly fun Picross game! Shame it's not in English, though...)
43. New Super Mario Bros. Wii (Wii) (The bosses are too easy, and I honestly have trouble with the regular levels.)
42. Yoshi (NES) (A pretty engaging one!)
41. Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (SNES) (I don't like turn-based RPG battles, and struggle with them, so this is the reason it's this low.)
40. Donkey Kong Jr. (NES) (Easily the best of the trilogy.)
39. Super Mario Land (GB) (The controls are really weird, making this one harder than it needs to be.)
38. Super Mario Bros. 35 (Switch) (WHY DID YOU TAKE IT DOWN, NINTENDO?)
37. Super Mario Run (iOS) (Why is everything behind a $10 paywall?)
36. Super Mario Bros. 2 (NES) (I mean the Doki Doki Panic reskin.)
35. Wrecking Crew (NES) (It's easy to get hooked on this one.)
34. Mario Bros. (NES) (There's very little room to jump, and the timing is pretty narrow, but a fun experience nonetheless.)
33. Mario Party DS (DS) (It's fine, I guess.)
32. Mario Golf: World Tour (3DS) (Interesting, but not different enough from a standard golf game.)
31. Mario Tennis Open (3DS) (See above, but this game has you play tennis against a scrolling version of the original Super Mario Bros.! Really.)
30. Mario Party 8 (Wii) (The mini games are fun, and so are the boards.)
29. Super Mario Bros. (NES) (I respect this one more than I like it. The controls are kinda funky.)
28. Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix (GCN) (Really fun, but it makes my feet hurt.)
27. Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions (Haven't touched the side game, but I really enjoy the main game!)
26. Dr. Mario (NES) (An immortal classic!)
25. Dr. Mario Online Rx (Wii) (Only above the original because it has better graphics.)
24. Poochy and Yoshi's Wooly World (3DS) (What Yoshi's New Island should have been! It builds upon Yoshi's Island's introduced mechanics quite nicely!)
23. Super Mario All Stars (SNES) (Good collection of good games!)
22. Super Mario Sunshine (GCN) (Harder than one would expect. A little different, but different is sometimes good.)
21. Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins (GB) (Better than the original. The carrot power-up is so O.P.)
20. Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES) (I don't think it's as good as everyone says, but I had fun with it.)
19. New Super Mario Bros. (DS) (It was good before the series got milked dry.)
18. Mario Kart 7 (3DS) (Just a standard Mario Kart. Doesn't mean you won't have a good time!)
17. New Super Mario Bros. 2 (3DS) (Why did I enjoy this more than 1? Probably because it's not as easy to game over.)
16. Super Mario 3D All-Stars (Switch) (I hate artificial scarcity, but it's a collection worth checking out, especially if you've never played these games before.)
15. Super Paper Mario (Wii) (It has, without a doubt, the best story of any Mario game. It combines 2D platforming with RPG storytelling and stats, and it's a real hidden gem.)
14. Mario Kart: Double Dash!! (GCN) (It still astonishes me that the "two characters in one kart" aspect of this game was never used again.)
13. Super Mario 3D Land (3DS) (It's too much of a 2D game stretched out slightly to be considered a "full" 3D game.)
12. Super Mario Maker 2 (Switch) (I need to dabble in the player-created levels more, but the story mode and level creation is enjoyable.)
11. Super Mario 3D World + Bowser's Fury (Switch) (3D World is a bit more 3D than 3D Land, and Bowser's Fury is utterly glorious.)
10. Mario Kart Wii (Wii) (Items are too weird, but I love everything else.)
9. Super Mario 64 DS (DS) (A solid remake, but still lesser then the original (The controls are its biggest downside). If you want to play this game, please play it on a 3DS system, as the circle pad works tons better than the D-Pad)
8. Super Mario World (SNES) (Just about the best a 2D platformer can be, except that I died way too much the first time I played this.)
7. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island (SNES) (Super Mario World may be a better game, but I like this one more. It's just so charming!)
6. Mario Kart DS (DS) (Racing at its near finest. The mission mode and the ability to draw your own emblem are great touches.)
5. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (Switch) (Racing at its true finest! It also looks the most fabulous of any Mario game I've played!)
4. Super Mario Odyssey (Switch) (Mario moves oh so well with Cappy! The shear level of content and the variety of the worlds make it a truly magical time!)
3. Super Mario 64 (N64) (IT'S SO COOL! Mario moves smooth as butter, yet nice and tight as well. It's amazing how well everything works, and it's the greatest possible experience on the Nintendo 64.)
2. Super Mario Galaxy (Wii) (It's beautiful, everything is creative, Mario also moves well here. It's just a great all-around game!)
1. Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii) (Better than the first because there's Yoshi, and you don't have to play the full game as Luigi to get every star. Best game ever made!)
