Do you have any mental disorders or conditions?

[marvelvscapcom2]

Hello everyone


One thing that people are very sensitive to talk about is mental health but I think it can be essential to face some of the things together to conquer them or at least understand better. A lot of symptons go undiagnosed and quality of life can and will improve. But if you don't want to share that's ok.  I just hope everyone is ok and I love all of you. 



My Life with Parasomnia disorders





I mostly want to talk about this with you guys because this past week might have been one of the worst episodes i've had with it.  And i'm scared.  After many years of recovery i'm not sure where they have come from. I feel very vulnerable. And worried. And I know many of us can feel like this. 



Since I was about 7 years old I have dealt with multiple parasomnia like conditions.  Parasomnia covers various nocturnal behavioral disorders than effect you while you sleep.  These include.....


Visual Hallucinations and Sleep Paralysis




The major symptoms come in conjuction with one another.  The sleep paralysis and the hallucinations of vivid monsters that come to you in your sleep.  My first encounter with this was at around 7 years old.  I woke up in the middle of the night unable to move for the 1st time in my life.  I felt as if my body was floating.  In the closet entry way stood a 6 foot shadow figure. It's face was of the serial killer ghost face killer from the movie scream but even more melted. And it moved slowly.  I screamed but my sounds were muffled.  I thought I was going to die. 

Since then I held a natural fear of the scream movie and mask.  The above image resembles somewhat the type of monsters I might see in one of my night terrors or when i'm under sleep paralysis. But mine was scream.  I don't google him out of fear. Although luckily I just get the sleep paralysis and only very rarely get spooked by a vivid face or monster.


As an adult I still get sleep paralysis.  I would say I don't see things as much anymore luckily.  But the sleep Paralysis never gets any less terrifying in itself.  It's basically being unable to move in a dream state but you can see everything around you.   It happens when the REM stage of dream hasn't been stopped yet and your brain takes a moment to send the signal to wake your muscles up even though you are already awake.


Sleepwalking and Night terrors




Now I know this one to anyone who has never slept walked sounds funny because of the movies.  The tv shows and movies make it funny and sweet.  Usually someone doing funny things while asleep or getting spooked.   But I will say this is by far one of the scariest things that can happen.  It's terrifying.  Only because it's the complete absence of self control over your own body.  It's like being possessed. 


Just imagine being in a lucid dream or nightmare that you have no control over what you are doing in your subconcious brain.  You are in a comotozed state like any other dream.  Except you wake up vividly remembering you did things within the house and your family confirms that you were walking around, acting out things, saying things, doing things that you don't remember or barely remember doing.  Some of which dumb things,  can even be violent things. Theoretically you could kill someone.  It's scary to worry of what you might do.



This unfortunately happened to me 2 days ago.  For the first time since I was 8.  It was about 14 years ago.  And now it happened again.  I feel weak and scared and unknown as to why. 


The incident of when I was a kid, I actually peed in a PS2 and broke it.  This was back when they were new too.  It ruined a year of my childhood.  But that was the sole time I ever did.   I always chalked it up to a rare occurance (children sometimes sleepwalk way more than adults) and figured I outgrew it or maybe I reacted to a medicine or something. 


(Children tend to urinate in odd places during sleep walking lol)


But the story shows just how little control you have in these and that's the scariest part.  In my real world, I'd never pee in a PS2.  Especially back then. 


But yet again, 2 days ago,  I slept walked .  Again....    This is terrifying to me.  I didn't think it'd come back.  I didn't do anything bad.  Just went up to my dad and talked to him about Silver coins and went back to bed. 




All I know is that I hope it gets better.  Every night for the last week I have been having vivid dreams.  Some good, some bad.  I almost always feel drained afterwards.  I think it might be narcalepsy or some sort of scary thing.



I feel like the sleep world wants me as a sacrafice, the shadows are all around me and I feel like i'm living two lives. I feel like when I sleep I sign over my soul to the dark people who wait for me.  I feel like something dead wants me dead.  I feel like everything is rotting.  And i'm bleeding from my eyes in my dreams now.   I think the ghostface killer is my visual interpretation of the negative forces of earth.  Represents the future, to show me what happens when I fear.  It's a personification of death.  It tears at my soul.


Maybe all of this is like a lucid nightmare, and the things of when I were young come back to haunt me in episodes until the day I die.  It's symbolic.  It was meant to be this way and scare me.  I just don't get the meaning behind it.  Why suddenly.  Why now. 





Does anyone else have interesting or sad stories to share about their mental health or past with things like this?  Thanks for sharing    






 

[dashv]

I have ADHD. I was diagnosed as a kid. Had wires hooked up to my head and stayed overnight for observation and all that. Was medicated for it for about 5-6 years then quit the meds becuase my parents could not afford it.

I found other ways to manage it and even make it an asset.

Been dealing with depression the last few years pretty much since moving to California. I don’t talk about it much. It’s one of the reasons why I stopped doing my YouTube show and filming in general.

Not sure if the depression is a disorder or just that my life has had some pretty heavy stuff in it the past few years and I haven’t had any of my old friends/family here to help me deal with it.

My first couple of jobs and commute out here were pretty brutal to me physically, mentally, and emotionally. My job now is much better and I had nearly recovered when my son got hit with (more) health problems and it’s been hard for all of us to discover and now accept that we likely can’t fix them.

I’m making some major life changes in 2019 to refocus on family so maybe that will turn some things back around.

At the very least I’m trying to get myself and my family into “make the most of what you have” mode.

I’ve learned talking about it helps. Most of my exhaustion has been from putting up a facade that everything is great and I’m ok.

Thanks for sharing your story MarvelVsCapcom2. We all have our things we’re dealing with. Just makes us human. Hang in there.

[hoshichiri]

I've never been diagnosed with anything, luckily- but I've had two anxiety/stress related events that have provided a bit of a window into what people are suffering from.

When I was in high school, my siblings were having a very rough time. My sister was severely depressed & had attempted suicide (poorly, thank god). All the knives in the house were in a lock box. My brother was stealing & constantly skipping school, to the point that legal authorities were getting involved. I was worried about my siblings & dealing with my own garden variety teenage problems, but I didn't feel like it was fair to put that on my parents- so I didn't talk about it. Eventually, thing improved- my brother got into some programs & my sister found a medication that worked for her. One day after that, I was sitting in class, and noticed the hairs in my textbook. I went to the bathroom between classes, and discovered a 1 inch bald spot on the top of my head. I'd literally been pulling my hair out & had no idea I was doing it. It took years to grow back in properly.

The other instance was more intense- I was at a con, waiting for a panel that was put into far too small a room for how popular it was. The line was offically opened one hour before the panel, and was instantly sardine packed standing room only. The only moving room my group of 3 had was the space over my crossbody messenger bag- I'd have to pivot toward the person who needed to move. As the hour ran down... well, I can only describe it as the room swelling. It was like somebody turned on a fisheye lens filter and jacked up the volume knob. It kinda scared me- physical space can't bend that way, and I knew it. I covered my ears and squeezed my eyes shut- I thought if I could block it out, it would stop. My fiance, who's anxious in crowds anyway, saw this & instantly knew what was happening. He very gently tapped my shoulder so I'd look at him, then held up his earbuds & poked them under my hands & into my ears. Focusing on the music helped me calm down- then the line was let in to seat. We skipped front row center (which we could have had) in favor of a spot a few rows back against the wall, becuase the shape of the room made the rows taper so we'd have no one on front of us there, & I kinda needed the space.


I know sometimes it's hard for my friends & family who have issues to talk about them, becuase it's hard to explain why you'd need to have earbuds or noise-cancelling headphones just to wait in a crowded line, or how you can do something to yourself without knowing it, or any number of things. And I hate bringing up these stories, becuase it's not something I have to live with so I don't feel like it should be about me- but I do from time to time just to make it clear: I believe you when you say things get this bad, and it scares you. I believe you when you tell me you need me to do something odd, like put my lil' doll collection away when you're around becuase they scare you that much. I may not deal with these thing normally, but I've peeked behind the curtain- and I'm amazed at anyone who can live with this kind of thing every day & still function in any capacity. And if something as simple as carrying a spare battery for your MP3 player, or just listening when you need to vent can help, I'm more than willing to.

[kypherion]

I haven't been diagnosed with anything but I've never been able to pay attention to anything for longer than a couple seconds tops. I literally cannot focus.

Wouldn't be surprised with bipolar because it runs in the family. More like borderline personality disorder in my case.

Probably depression too based on how I've been for the last 10 months.

[bikingjahuty]

I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety disorder right after I graduated from high school and with the exception of it getting bad when I have a lot of stress in my life, it isn't something that effects me much anymore, nor have a taken meds for it in over a decade.


I also have some mild PTSD from a car accident I had in 2013, but it's gotten better with time.


Other than that I feel pretty fortunate.

[seether]

I am a psychopath.

[98dgreen]

If procrastination is a disorder then yes.  Otherwise I did sleep walk once when I was like 6.

[bikingjahuty]

I am a psychopath.

You misspelled troll

[kypherion]

I am a psychopath.

It all makes sense now.

No wonder you were gonna kill me for my games.

[rayne315]

ADHD. Was "Diagnosed" as a young kid and went on medication for it. since the medication is essentially Meth it effectively gave me an eating disorder and depression throughout my younger life. I never liked taking it as a kid and when I got into high school I decided to stop taking it. it took me 3 times to quit because I had become addicted to it, not to the point of abusing it but to the point of dependence. I tried to take my life once during the withdrawal process and thankfully failed. during the process of taking myself off of it my doctor failed to disclose that at the age I was at I had a high likelihood of suffering from memory loss throughout my life. Essentially a mild form of dementia. every month or so I catch myself forgetting stupid info like words or names and not things that should normally be forgotten. things like me and my wifes names our birthdays, where I live, etc. thankfully when I forget something it comes back 5-10 mins later.

[dashv]

ADHD. Was "Diagnosed" as a young kid and went on medication for it. since the medication is essentially Meth it effectively gave me an eating disorder and depression throughout my younger life. I never liked taking it as a kid and when I got into high school I decided to stop taking it. it took me 3 times to quit because I had become addicted to it, not to the point of abusing it but to the point of dependence. I tried to take my life once during the withdrawal process and thankfully failed. during the process of taking myself off of it my doctor failed to disclose that at the age I was at I had a high likelihood of suffering from memory loss throughout my life. Essentially a mild form of dementia. every month or so I catch myself forgetting stupid info like words or names and not things that should normally be forgotten. things like me and my wifes names our birthdays, where I live, etc. thankfully when I forget something it comes back 5-10 mins later.

This sounds like me minus the dependency.

I ditched the meds about 5-6 years in when the military said they wouldn’t take me.

I had no idea why, they wouldn’t say. But I imagine it was the memory loss.

I had no idea that it could be a side effect of the meds. First I assumed it was stress. Then I assumed the ADHC itself.

When I was in high school I also would pull my hair out. Thought it was just some strange habit.

This has been a good thread. I’m not nearly as alone as I thought I was.

[oldgamerz]

Schizophrenia and Bi-Polar 2 was my former diagnosis , but now I am just Bi-polar depression, maybe a little ADHD. Been on medicine since at least 11 years old. Been in and out of too many hospitals to count today. Mostly mental problems, don't feel sorry for me. there are worse off people then myself. I think of the people who are without limbs or have much less money and possessions than me.

Being a Christian and beleving in both God and Jesus helps with my issues to. Plus my writings about God and Jesus are vary well known on the internet all over the world, in  another place on the internet

[pizzasafari]

I have Tourettes but it's much much more subtle than it used to be. When I was a kid I was a nightmare to be around, but nowadays no-one seems to notice it. It's always been physical tics though, I don't shout things out or anything. Nowadays it's mostly muscle flexes, most noticeable things I do are scrunch my face up and slam my teeth together but again no-one notices which kind of surprises me. I sniff a lot which might have something to do with my Tourettes but I can't really tell. When I was a kid I kept flicking my arms up, hitting my leg with my wrist, making a "zzupt" sound, threw my neck back, worst was this like growling coughy-throat clearing sound, that annoyed a lot of people.
Also pretty hardcore Social Anxiety Disorder but that's been gradually getting better over the years. I used to think I had Avoidant Personality Disorder but I spoke to a specialist and she said it was just plain ol SAD.
My stepdad thinks I'm autistic but I think he's looking too much into things.

[aliensstudios]

Nothing that I've ever been diagnosed with really, but I get anxiety whenever anything "new" comes up, like going somewhere new or meeting someone new. Sometimes it's excited anxiety and sometimes it isn't, I can't really explain it. Sometimes I feel insanely depressed, other times, outrageously happy. In my own mind, I'm extremely socially awkward, but generally when I talk to new people I can maintain a conversation and can appear perfectly normal, sometimes I can make people laugh or the things I say intrigue them, but I almost never seek out a social situation. If I'm talking to someone one on one, I feel comfortable, but if I'm standing in a circle of people who are all talking, I usually just don't say anything. I can't really explain it, it's like I overthink things, but when the events are actually happening my brain lets its own guard down. Like in High School, anytime I had to present something, I'd have a knot in my stomach up until the day of the presentation, but when I got up to actually do it, it all went away.

A good chunk of my family are alcoholics like my mom and brother, and some of my extended family have abused substances too. I lost my cousin a couple of months ago, she died due to a drug overdose, so I know the whole alcoholic / substance abuser gene could very well have resonated with me, but I tend to only drink beer, and only in social situations. Maybe I'm just lucky to not be an alcoholic but I'm aware of how huge an issue it is in my family.

It might be odd to say, but I think my biggest issue is my game collecting, haha. I don't know, it just seems like last year it became like a huge crutch. I quit for a few months, but once my life started going better I got back into it! I mean I have for sure moderated it a bit, but it still feels like I'm addicted to it or something. I know it might be trivial to bring this up amongst the comments in this thread which are authentic conditions, but sometimes game collecting is seriously unfulfilling and depressing. Sometimes I love it!

[Flashback2012]

Can't be diagnosed with anything bad if you never go to the doctor in the first place.




I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if I did get testing done and they found results leaning towards bi-polar, depression and anxiety. I also wouldn't be surprised if I had a chemical imbalance of some kind but I wouldn't think it serious enough as I tend to be a functioning adult most of the time (either that or I'm really good at the whole "fake-it-till-you-make-it").

While I'd rather avoid having a topical debate about it, I think a lot of things can be attributed to how we've molded/been molded by our society and surroundings. Top-down corporate greed and their incessant push for profit, Profit, PROFIT while there's HUGE disparity between executive/worker pay, My way/Highway politics (and to a certain degree religion), lack of downtime/unwinding/vacationing, and what we put into our bodies as "food" that is usually cheap filler loaded with sugar/salt.

I'm certainly not discounting that people don't have actual issues, quite the opposite. I'm just saying that on top of any conditions one might have (and it seeming like an ever shrinking window to address/afford them), we're foisted into a societal situation that does NOT help matters and I have to wonder how long we'll collectively allow that to continue before it buckles under its own weight.