How do you deal with getting older?

[bikingjahuty]

I recently had a birthday which puts me in my late 30s. I understand I'm still not old, and by conventional standards I'm not even middle aged yet, but one thing that has been on my mind a lot over the last year or so is how people deal with getting older.


it's a strange thing coming out of your late teens, 20s, and even your early 30s and most things are more or less as you remembered them, but then you realize one day they're not. Your relatives you've had in your minds eye as being around a certain age most of your life are now several decades beyond that, you start to hear more and more about people you knew personally dying, and even you aren't the same person anymore. You don't have the energy you once did, your body has all sorts of random aches and pains you never used to have, and you could have sworn you were just renewing your plates or paying your taxes a few months ago, when it's actually been a whole year already. I guess the passage of time and the reality of how much time has passed is starting to finally catch up with me. Does anyone else have feelings like this or have you dealt with this and somehow come to terms with it?

[tripredacus]

Just wait until the day you realise your generation turned into your parents' generation without you knowing it. That happened to me recently (about a week ago) and it was strange realisation since I don't actually consider myself to be part of my generation despite actually being in it. The people I interact with on an almost daily or weekly basis, or the people I hang out with are all generally younger than me, by 10-20 years. Working in an arcade does that I guess. I don't feel my age or look it based on what people tell me. Being an arch meme lord of the internet and a survivor of the great forum wars keeps me in touch with how younger people act and talk and behave. Typically people tend to stay in their age group more due to entering into the work force where you are more likely to interact with people around your age or older.

People naturally settle down in life and become less active. When you get into your 30s you are probably not going partying anymore and do not have as active of a lifestyle. If you are a man, you are less likely to keep up your appearance, especially if you have gotten married and/or had kids, because you are no longer in the social competition space. You end up getting those random aches and pains because your brain doesn't keep up with your lifestyle. Maybe you are not exercising the same way you did, if you played sports or were generally active in one way or another. But your brain will still remember how you could do certain things and you will still try to do things the same way even though your body will have changed. They are an indicator that you need to change a behaviour, either get back into shape or what usually happens, make adjustments to your life to try to prevent those aches and pains.

The best way to come to terms with it is just live your life. Everyone gets to experience getting older, and you have the opportunity to make the best of it.

[axiomenterance]

Do what makes you happy and take care of your mind and body. I am pushing 50, I work out regularly, I still play and collect video games. I am happily married for 13 years and always make time for my wife and friends. Even though I am almost 50 I don't feel it. Again, Do what makes you happy and take care of your body and mind.

[marvelvscapcom2]

I recently had a birthday which puts me in my late 30s. I understand I'm still not old, and by conventional standards I'm not even middle aged yet, but one thing that has been on my mind a lot over the last year or so is how people deal with getting older.


it's a strange thing coming out of your late teens, 20s, and even your early 30s and most things are more or less as you remembered them, but then you realize one day they're not. Your relatives you've had in your minds eye as being around a certain age most of your life are now several decades beyond that, you start to hear more and more about people you knew personally dying, and even you aren't the same person anymore. You don't have the energy you once did, your body has all sorts of random aches and pains you never used to have, and you could have sworn you were just renewing your plates or paying your taxes a few months ago, when it's actually been a whole year already. I guess the passage of time and the reality of how much time has passed is starting to finally catch up with me. Does anyone else have feelings like this or have you dealt with this and somehow come to terms with it?

I think about it every single day when i'm alone. Damn... this hit the feels for me.  I actually been feeling sort of out of body lately. Almost existential crisis.  Like sometimes I just sit there and realize how finite life is...  it feels like yesterday was y2k.  Like monday was ps2 release date. it feels like Majoras mask. Where it's a game, all n64 and life as usual but then you look up and death is just there.  When you start the game. That moon is far away. Easy peezy.  No urgency or fear. You're a kid! But once you near 30, 40, 50 and I imagine especially 60 and 70.  That moon is not exactly where it started anymore.  And the reality of that is jarring.  And it jars you the more you look up.

And things have radically changed with the advent of internet dependency. Which has not helped matters. It makes us lead very centralized and introverted psuedo lifestyles of speed. I find myself saying "these kids today" like an old grandfather and i'm not even 30 yet lol.  It just has changed.  Complex stuff like learning how to work a check book.  Even something as simple as looking out the window every 30 seconds for a pizza guy.  The excitement.  Now we have an app to track it. Why wait at a mom and pop store. Amazon will do it quicker. Better. Theirs no effort required so I think life speeds up when theirs less to do. Less to see. It all feels like around 2010 or 2012. We all died at the same time. And everything after 2013 is just a bizarre dream. And this is a new life. Thats how different it is.  But I know thats not the case.


Idk if anyone else feels this but does it seem like time moves faster as you age?  Seemed like days were 2 days when I was younger.  Now it seems like no matter how much time I make. Plans I cancel. It's just wake up. And then its bedtime right after.  Theirs this sense of too quick. Idk.   Where it comes from.

I guess we just gotta focus more on what is changeable.  The quality of the life not the quantity.   I know death can only bring us the answers of whats next. But its human nature to ponder it.   

Sometimes the quote "dont be sad its over. Be happy it happened" make me feel better. 

[psxlegacy]

embrace change, try not to live in denial, associate with your generation and the older generation as well as the young'uns to find what we have in common and what we can reconcile in a world of change. Make healthy choices and prioritize your time. Yes the days seem to fly by faster, as the compression of running on the hamster wheel as daily responsibilities or life goals, all take time to achieve. Find meaningful work and enjoy the journey. I've tried to apply this to collecting as well, if there is indeed an "end game". I've often fallen to FOMO or taking it too seriously, you can't win em all and sometimes if you can't beat em, you can join them. Remember what goes around comes around. Just be a bit more selective about who you deal with and where you get things. I'm in my mid-40's and often have wondered if the gaming escape and collecting I cling to is purely nostlagia and rose colored glasses, or if it is something more, like mourning the aging process and an active way to resist getting older and stay young. Well, we often associate gaming with our youth and the wonder of imagination and acting out fantasy in games that the real world could never offer. Why would anyone ever want to age out of that, this is a totally healthy way to be young and keep our minds from focusing on the problems associated with aging in a world that won't stop changing. Going back to retro is a healthy form of rebellion and helps us maintain our inner child.

[tripredacus]

I don't think that time goes by faster or even seems so. I think it is in relation to how memory and recognition works. We tend to do things systematically (or via habits) that we may not even realise that is the case. Things you do by way of habit can have the effect of "not being remembered" per se when you do them. Think about those times when you ask yourself "Did I lock the door before I left? I remember locking the door or do I remember locking the door in the past?" Similarly memories that you have of your past, such as your childhood, are more likely memories of memories that you had. You remember remembering and do not necessarily remember the actual past.

How this relates to time going by faster is if you are not encountering new experiences, the brain doesn't necesssarily need to store that memory because it is already present. And as a result you only need to functionally remember less and this somehow seems to effect our perception of time.

That's my theory anyways.

[emporerdragon]

Idk if anyone else feels this but does it seem like time moves faster as you age?  Seemed like days were 2 days when I was younger.  Now it seems like no matter how much time I make. Plans I cancel. It's just wake up. And then its bedtime right after.  Theirs this sense of too quick. Idk.   Where it comes from.

It feels faster because the individual time amounts take up less and less of your overall life. Take summer vacation for example. To a 7 year old, that summer vacation is about 4% of their total life and all the memories contained. To a 37 year old, that same time period is now only 0.6% of their life.

Also, it doesn't help how much adulting can take out of your free time. Lawn needs to be mowed, laundry needs to be done, groceries need to be bought, etc., etc. So that 2 days off a week can wind up feeling like only a few hours free depending on how things stack up.

[dhaabi]

Idk if anyone else feels this but does it seem like time moves faster as you age?  Seemed like days were 2 days when I was younger.  Now it seems like no matter how much time I make. Plans I cancel. It's just wake up. And then its bedtime right after.  Theirs this sense of too quick. Idk.   Where it comes from.

How this relates to time going by faster is if you are not encountering new experiences, the brain doesn't necesssarily need to store that memory because it is already present. And as a result you only need to functionally remember less and this somehow seems to effect our perception of time.

It feels faster because the individual time amounts take up less and less of your overall life. Take summer vacation for example. To a 7 year old, that summer vacation is about 4% of their total life and all the memories contained. To a 37 year old, that same time period is now only 0.6% of their life.

From what I've learned after being introduced to this topic years ago, the passage of time on a general level (so not just tied to personal life experiences) and how we perceive it is correlated to various things including the two listed above: the lack of new experiences as we age and the total amount of time we've experienced throughout life. However, everyone perceives time differently, meaning this principle of time moving more quickly as we age is not universally shared. It's a study rooted in human psychology that's old and widely discussed, and there are numerous academic papers about it, such as this one.

[marvelvscapcom2]

Idk if anyone else feels this but does it seem like time moves faster as you age?  Seemed like days were 2 days when I was younger.  Now it seems like no matter how much time I make. Plans I cancel. It's just wake up. And then its bedtime right after.  Theirs this sense of too quick. Idk.   Where it comes from.

It feels faster because the individual time amounts take up less and less of your overall life. Take summer vacation for example. To a 7 year old, that summer vacation is about 4% of their total life and all the memories contained. To a 37 year old, that same time period is now only 0.6% of their life.

Also, it doesn't help how much adulting can take out of your free time. Lawn needs to be mowed, laundry needs to be done, groceries need to be bought, etc., etc. So that 2 days off a week can wind up feeling like only a few hours free depending on how things stack up.

This makes a lot of sense. That 2nd part hits home. I was just saying I feel like I spend more time at Walmart than my home lol. It seems like every 2 days the groceries are gone. And if I buy in bulk then I need something else or it spoils. Then it's laundry.  Then it's car care. Then it's doctors, dentist or other health appointments.  By the time I actually sit down with a video game at the end of the night my eyes are heavy and i'm falling asleep.  Maybe get 2 hours tops.   

Perhaps that's the issue im having. The boring parts of life are taking up maybe a good chunk so it feels like the memorable parts are actually small and rushed.  I gotta try to time budget better.


But that other age correlation phenomenon is fascinating. It just feels wild lately. I feel like new years was about a week ago. Its that bad. Sorta out of body.   I'm gonna try to focus more on the scope of time and less about the movement of it.  Just another thing to add about how getting older sucks lol.   

[wowgek7]

I recently had a birthday which puts me in my late 30s. I understand I'm still not old, and by conventional standards I'm not even middle aged yet, but one thing that has been on my mind a lot over the last year or so is how people deal with getting older.


it's a strange thing coming out of your late teens, 20s, and even your early 30s and most things are more or less as you remembered them, but then you realize one day they're not. Your relatives you've had in your minds eye as being around a certain age most of your life are now several decades beyond that, you start to hear more and more about people you knew personally dying, and even you aren't the same person anymore. You don't have the energy you once did, your body has all sorts of random aches and pains you never used to have, and you could have sworn you were just renewing your plates or paying your taxes a few months ago, when it's actually been a whole year already. I guess the passage of time and the reality of how much time has passed is starting to finally catch up with me. Does anyone else have feelings like this or have you dealt with this and somehow come to terms with it?

I think about it every single day when i'm alone. Damn... this hit the feels for me.  I actually been feeling sort of out of body lately. Almost existential crisis.  Like sometimes I just sit there and realize how finite life is...  it feels like yesterday was y2k.  Like monday was ps2 release date. it feels like Majoras mask. Where it's a game, all n64 and life as usual but then you look up and death is just there.  When you start the game. That moon is far away. Easy peezy.  No urgency or fear. You're a kid! But once you near 30, 40, 50 and I imagine especially 60 and 70.  That moon is not exactly where it started anymore.  And the reality of that is jarring.  And it jars you the more you look up.

And things have radically changed with the advent of internet dependency. Which has not helped matters. It makes us lead very centralized and introverted psuedo lifestyles of speed. I find myself saying "these kids today" like an old grandfather and i'm not even 30 yet lol.  It just has changed.  Complex stuff like learning how to work a check book.  Even something as simple as looking out the window every 30 seconds for a pizza guy.  The excitement.  Now we have an app to track it. Why wait at a mom and pop store. Amazon will do it quicker. Better. Theirs no effort required so I think life speeds up when theirs less to do. Less to see. It all feels like around 2010 or 2012. We all died at the same time. And everything after 2013 is just a bizarre dream. And this is a new life. Thats how different it is.  But I know thats not the case.


Idk if anyone else feels this but does it seem like time moves faster as you age?  Seemed like days were 2 days when I was younger.  Now it seems like no matter how much time I make. Plans I cancel. It's just wake up. And then its bedtime right after.  Theirs this sense of too quick. Idk.   Where it comes from.

I guess we just gotta focus more on what is changeable.  The quality of the life not the quantity.   I know death can only bring us the answers of whats next. But its human nature to ponder it.   

Sometimes the quote "dont be sad its over. Be happy it happened" make me feel better.

mostly this altough time does realy feel to go by faster and faster the older I get.

and hoenstly i hate getting older  if I had the option to stay 20 for 20 years  and then die i would take that over getting to 80.

the sad reality is that you cnat change it

[shfan]

My 20s were lost completely to a black hole of depression, from which I only started emerging in my early 30s, a dented shell of a human being with little life experience. I've just turned 44, have a wife and child, but still have a long way to go in terms of forming, not helped by poor life choices and multiple health problems.

Aging was always terrifying, particularly when in my mid-30s I'd realized how much I'd actually lost, I've come to terms with that now but need to re-focus on my health (quickly) and improve my lifestyle while continuing to adult better and faster.

In relation to aging, which in effect is just time, I'd suggest the following:

1) Live full, long days. Don't run yourself into the floor but try and finish the day in a better position than you started it, get something done.
2) Try new things/media to stay at least slightly in the loop, but accept that what you like is largely 'set' now. In gaming terms this means not trying to force yourself to play RTS games when you just want to shoot things.
3) Also in gaming/entertainment, recognize what you used to like as opposed to what you actually enjoy when left to your own devices.
4) Do what you always told your parents etc., which they didn't want to, look after yourself!
5) If something's not happening, whether it's playing a particular game, decorating a room in a particular way, going to this or that destination etc. recognize it sooner and stop investing time and money in stuff that's not going to bear fruit.

[kryst4line]

I've just turned 32 and I'm feeling it as well, so this thread has hit close to home. Keep going, comrades.

[undertakerprime]

I’m pushing 50, and yeah, I’m having to deal with all the crap that comes with getting older. Dad passed last year, mom is suffering from senility, other family members passing, I have more aches and pains.

One way I deal with it is realizing how fortunate I am to have what I have. My wife and mother-in-law have been absolute rocks through everything. I have a good, stable job. I have 2 INCREDIBLY smart 12-year-old twin boys who like the same geeky stuff I do.

Plus I have my hobbies, like playing games and toy collecting, which might seem strange for a middle-aged man, but they help keep me sharp. Just finished Elden Ring a few weeks back, and that game is no pushover. Constantly learning more about games and consoles I didn’t really experience before, like the Neo Geo and TG16. I definitely don’t feel a mid-life crisis coming any time soon, I have enough going on