I know cutting toxic people out of your life is the right thing to do when it becomes a pattern. But is it the right thing to do when it's your own mother? Feeling damn conflicted right now.
Life is too short to have shitty, negative people around, including family. You don't get to choose your family, which means that you may get lucky and get amazing parents, horrible parents, or often somewhere in between. If your parents are more towards the negative end of the spectrum, thinking hard about keeping them in your life, especially when they bring you down with their personal problems is something I'd recommend all people consider that find themselves in this situation. Especially when you've done all that you can do to be there for them and help them. I haven't spoken to my dad in almost 10-years because of him being an irresponsible, negligent, anti-social alcoholic, and I do not regret it at all. Yes, it was hard initially to let go of him, but I felt unequivocal happiness and relief after pushing him out of my life. Truth be told, he pushed me out more then I did him, he simply gave me no other option. it sounds like this is the case with your mom. if she wants to have a good, healthy relationship with you she will make the effort. Otherwise she will have to live without you and deal with the consequences of her disfunction.