Author Topic: Isolated for being a gamer?  (Read 10501 times)

turf

PRO Supporter

Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #15 on: March 04, 2013, 07:24:41 pm »
It's not something I lead with when I meet someone, but I don't care who knows it. Video game collecting is something I do and enjoy the shit out of, but it's not the only thing i do. Everyone who knows me knows I'm a collector. In fact, when most of them think of videogames they think of me. I've got some pretty sweet deals this way.
My parents think it's funny that I want to buy all the games I wanted as a kid. I have a job and their grand kid is fed, so they don't care what I do with my extra money.
My mother-in-law is a supporter too.  She's bought some pretty awesome stuff for Christmas and birthdays.
My wife is a big enabler of my collection. She's bought a lot of the stuff I'm too cheap to buy for myself. She's not scared to pull the trigger on on a big purchase. She found an worked the deal on my Donkey Kong/Mario Bros arcade. It doesn't bother her at all to spend money.


soera

Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #16 on: March 04, 2013, 08:47:47 pm »
It doesn't bother her at all to spend money.

Are you sure we dont have the same wife?

sin2beta

Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #17 on: March 04, 2013, 09:11:41 pm »
There have been moments or people, but overall, I don't have a problem with it. However, I have to admit to feeling really awkward in the past to have a collection when people came over. Although for me it is the 5 long boxes of X-Men comics (I've been reading for 16 years and used to always hit the 25 cent box as a kid).

But I lucked out in being in situations where nerdy pop-culture hobbies have always been ok. I went to a nerdy college and then an even nerdier graduate school, studied mathematics, rowed for crew, etc. It was a very nerd-positive atmosphere in Boulder and Palo Alto. I always pictured Portland being the same. But I never have made it out to Portland. Is it just uber hipsterish where any hobby is passe? But I found that my bookshelf full of math texts overshadows everything else. People tend to breathe a sigh of relief when they see the games and comics. It's weird.

I also have found a lot goes into attitude. If you are feeling self-conscious about it, chances are things will happen to make you even more self-conscious about it. This has been my experience. I would suggest adding something else to your life. Do something active. This helps relieve stress and creates a nice balance. Someone who is an avid cyclist and video game enthusiast is cool. Someone who only plays video games might be just as cool, but it can create a wrong first impression.

Embrace being different and who you are. It can be tough. I am going through similar struggles living in Tulsa and trying to go without a car (partly I really dislike driving, I like the exercise). There are times where I feel like a complete outcast or get hassled on the road. Oklahomans just aren't used to people walking or biking. I'm actually planning a move back west in late May early June and I can't say that feeling doesn't factor in my decision. So, I do know how you feel to an extent. 

But I do have to say, talking to you on this forum, you're a cool guy. Be yourself.
UPDATED 01/22/2016 New Ages of SEGA "Space Slalom" is now on....
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jobocan

Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #18 on: March 04, 2013, 09:36:20 pm »
Eh... I wouldn't say gaming has really negatively affected my life. Partly because I did all the geeky stuff in school (science classes in high school, web development course in college) so I hung out with people who were also somewhat into video games, and now I work in a technology museum in the web team, so, while the rest of the team aren't gamers, gaming isn't a taboo subject. And people in general seem to find it cool when I tell them I have tons of games.

As for my family, they think it's cool, my dad helped me with building shelves and going to pick up arcade cabinets and such. My mom used to be a gamer (she got me into gaming in the first place... she's the only Diddy Kong Racing player I've met that can beat me :P) but health problems makes it impossible for her to play anything other than casual games now. Still, my parents are fine with the hobby.

I think anything "negative" in regards to a social life isn't specifically because of gaming, but rather because whatever else people do doesn't interest me much. If a good show is around I might go to it (rarely happens around here in the first place... other than last year's Alice Cooper/Iron Maiden show, and I might go see Rush this summer), but otherwise... unless I'm going somewhere with friends I don't really go out much... I hate bars (if I wanted to get drunk while listening to shitty music I'd do it at home and waste less money) and... what else do people do anyways? I'm not into skiing/snowboarding, watching sports bores me... bleh.

Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #19 on: March 04, 2013, 10:29:39 pm »
Not at all. My dad has made a living out of selling vintage pocketwatches to collectors soo he basically understands it but he does say a few comments like"dont you have enough" or "jeeze you spend alot of money on this" but hell if i see a good deal and dont have the funds he is always there to back me up on it. My girlfriend doesnt mind it. I can tell she tries to get into it with me but still doesn't love it like I do. In a way it's the thought that counts.
PS4-zxzpigxzx
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Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #20 on: March 04, 2013, 10:31:10 pm »
guy next to me on a plane said  "is that your DS? my kid has one of them." then looked at me like im simple because im 31.
it didnt bother me thou as i got to play games while he sat there bored out of his mind for 3 hours

insektmute

  • Guest
Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #21 on: March 04, 2013, 11:54:51 pm »
There have been moments or people, but overall, I don't have a problem with it. However, I have to admit to feeling really awkward in the past to have a collection when people came over. Although for me it is the 5 long boxes of X-Men comics (I've been reading for 16 years and used to always hit the 25 cent box as a kid).

But I lucked out in being in situations where nerdy pop-culture hobbies have always been ok. I went to a nerdy college and then an even nerdier graduate school, studied mathematics, rowed for crew, etc. It was a very nerd-positive atmosphere in Boulder and Palo Alto. I always pictured Portland being the same. But I never have made it out to Portland. Is it just uber hipsterish where any hobby is passe? But I found that my bookshelf full of math texts overshadows everything else. People tend to breathe a sigh of relief when they see the games and comics. It's weird.

I also have found a lot goes into attitude. If you are feeling self-conscious about it, chances are things will happen to make you even more self-conscious about it. This has been my experience. I would suggest adding something else to your life. Do something active. This helps relieve stress and creates a nice balance. Someone who is an avid cyclist and video game enthusiast is cool. Someone who only plays video games might be just as cool, but it can create a wrong first impression.

Embrace being different and who you are. It can be tough. I am going through similar struggles living in Tulsa and trying to go without a car (partly I really dislike driving, I like the exercise). There are times where I feel like a complete outcast or get hassled on the road. Oklahomans just aren't used to people walking or biking. I'm actually planning a move back west in late May early June and I can't say that feeling doesn't factor in my decision. So, I do know how you feel to an extent. 

But I do have to say, talking to you on this forum, you're a cool guy. Be yourself.

My experience has sort of changed over time, I suppose. When I was younger, I had very few friends, but we all hung out in the computer lab or library at school, played a lot of AD&Dand Magic, that sort of thing.

Portland's an odd town, particularly to people who've never been here, because much of the local culture is a complete 180 from the rest of the country, but it's tough to describe. Very broadly speaking, it's basically populated entirely by project-oriented hipsters, hippies, and anarchists - just about everyone makes music, brews beer, makes jewelry, or some other kind of project that sucks up a lot of their time. It's probably a byproduct of the grey, rainy atmosphere of the place.

On the other hand, it's very social and collaborative here, and people tend to scatter into certain niches, and that includes video games. There are a lot of retro gamers (we still have several arcades, and Ground Kontrol, which is a full-blown retrocade)  and Nintendo fans, for example, but since most of them are hipsters, everything's pretty half-assed. So while it's easy to find people who think Super Meat Boy and Katamari Damacy are awesome, it's a bit more difficult to find common ground if you're particularly hardcore about video games.

I'm also very much the reclusive, "needle away at things that interest me in dim lighting with a cup of coffee" sort of person, so since I'm not engaged in any single scene 24/7, it can be difficult to meet new people. I go out once in awhile, and I know a ton of people, but I met most of them through the industrial music scene, which is small, incestuous, and not particularly diverse. I'm pretty much the guy in the group who "likes all that weird Japanese shit."

Appreciate the vote of confidence, though. I have no problem being myself really, I just get frustrated by how people react to my interests sometimes, and I'm too direct with people to actually prevent myself from talking about things like video games or anime once in awhile, which is probably part of the problem.
« Last Edit: March 04, 2013, 11:58:11 pm by insektmute »

Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #22 on: March 05, 2013, 12:35:16 am »
Im in highschool so theirs always going to be people looking down on me because i play video games. Most of my friends play video games so it isnt a very big deal, but when i bring up retro gaming I always get the "what do you play old video games for" line. Gaming keeps me busy enough that I dont have time to get into trouble. Sadly ive already seen some friends fall into drugs, smoking, and alcohol but luckily video games have kept me from getting involved with these things.

pacpix

Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #23 on: March 05, 2013, 10:28:25 am »
@eatgrenades

I am also in highschool too.  Most kids think my collection is weird, but my friends think it is pretty cool.  They have little interest in playing them though.  My mom while not supportive, does not bother me about my collecting as long as I keep it organized.  She does comment on me spending to much on "Crap" when she opens a package to find baseball cards and video games though.  My dad will look at goodwill for me if he is nearby and does not mind as long as I don't play games all day long.  My grandpa is very supportive and often when I see him he has games that he picked up from the pawn shop.
Currently Playing: Dark Souls: Remastered (Switch)


ko1ru

Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #24 on: March 05, 2013, 03:00:01 am »
What Kimimi said pretty much reflects how I feel, especially since I'm a girl as well.  I think female gamers (not the super-casual, "fake" variety) can feel particularly isolated when it comes to their interest in/intent to collect video games.  I don't make it a point to announce or advertise my gender in online settings, nor do I tend to bring up my hobby in casual conversation with random people as I'm usually met with either 1.) "There's no way you play video games: you're a girl!" or 2.) Oooo, you play video games?  You single?"  Of course there is the occasional rare exception, but I'd rather just avoid the scenario as much as possible.  Often, if I'm in a shop with my boyfriend and ask about a particular game (availability, condition, etc.), they "relay" the information to my boyfriend, not me - because there's no way I'm asking about a game for myself.  ::)  I then love surprising them with knowledge about games that they themselves were clueless about.  :)

As frustrating as this is, I have neither the time nor inclination to deal with stupidity.  If someone's going to give you shit over who you are and what your interests are, fuck 'em.  Live your life for you and no one else.  :)
« Last Edit: March 05, 2013, 11:01:24 am by ko1ru »

Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #25 on: March 05, 2013, 11:35:50 am »
What Kimimi said pretty much reflects how I feel, especially since I'm a girl as well.  I think female gamers (not the super-casual, "fake" variety) can feel particularly isolated when it comes to their interest in/intent to collect video games.  I don't make it a point to announce or advertise my gender in online settings, nor do I tend to bring up my hobby in casual conversation with random people as I'm usually met with either 1.) "There's no way you play video games: you're a girl!" or 2.) Oooo, you play video games?  You single?"  Of course there is the occasional rare exception, but I'd rather just avoid the scenario as much as possible.  Often, if I'm in a shop with my boyfriend and ask about a particular game (availability, condition, etc.), they "relay" the information to my boyfriend, not me - because there's no way I'm asking about a game for myself.  ::)  I then love surprising them with knowledge about games that they themselves were clueless about.  :)

As frustrating as this is, I have neither the time nor inclination to deal with stupidity.  If someone's going to give you shit over who you are and what your interests are, fuck 'em.  Live your life for you and no one else.  :)
I would think the 1.) aspect would have played through by now as their are tons of gamer females out there? An it seems alot of them have their own youtube /chat channels, and even taken over the xbox360 clan..
Currently Playing - Plants Vs. Zombies: Warfare (PC) / Looking for Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance II Manual

insektmute

  • Guest
Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #26 on: March 05, 2013, 11:38:40 am »
As frustrating as this is, I have neither the time nor inclination to deal with stupidity.  If someone's going to give you shit over who you are and what your interests are, fuck 'em.  Live your life for you and no one else.  :)

You know me well enough to know my patience for this shit is VERY low :)

Come to think of it, it's largely why you and I both gave up on Listal, but you held out longer than I did!

ko1ru

Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #27 on: March 05, 2013, 11:41:41 am »
As frustrating as this is, I have neither the time nor inclination to deal with stupidity.  If someone's going to give you shit over who you are and what your interests are, fuck 'em.  Live your life for you and no one else.  :)

You know me well enough to know my patience for this shit is VERY low :)

Come to think of it, it's largely why you and I both gave up on Listal, but you held out longer than I did!

LOL, true enough -- but not much longer!  :P

Erk, you're deserving of a girl (and flat mates) that appreciate you for who you are and are as kick-ass as yourself.  Don't settle for less.  ;)

Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #28 on: March 05, 2013, 11:43:16 am »
I would think the 1.) aspect would have played through by now as their are tons of gamer females out there? An it seems alot of them have their own youtube /chat channels, and even taken over the xbox360 clan..

Not a chance. At the moment female gamers are classed as either -

1) "Fake" gamers - they play Farmville, Angry Birds, etc and very occasionally a little something on their boyfriend's 360 (badly, no doubt).
2) Attention seekers. All women with a Youtube channel who game fall into this category automatically. They probably only like <game you like> to try to look cool.
3) Real gamers, but ugly. Any woman who has proven she really does play "proper" games and doesn't have a Youtube channel must be ugly, because if she wasn't she'd have a Youtube channel.

insektmute

  • Guest
Re: Isolated for being a gamer?
« Reply #29 on: March 05, 2013, 11:46:21 am »
I would think the 1.) aspect would have played through by now as their are tons of gamer females out there? An it seems alot of them have their own youtube /chat channels, and even taken over the xbox360 clan..

Sexism doesn't stop just because there are more women, and female gamers have always been around. As with geeks, freaks, and gay people, at some point, people collectively realized that trying to pretend they don't exist wasn't particularly effective, and a lot of women simply decided to stop giving a shit about what anyone else says.