Author Topic: A rock and a hard place.  (Read 3475 times)

ffxik

A rock and a hard place.
« on: March 05, 2015, 05:40:42 pm »
This is going to be one of "those" posts.  So if you don't feel like reading I don't blame you.  I'm at an impasse and quite frankly I don't know what to do or how to proceed.  So I'm just basically venting here, trying to organize... trying to figure out the solution to my problem.

The long and short of it is.  In two short weeks my family and I are about to be homeless. 

I've been renting this trailer for the last twelve years.  Thanks to the real estate conditions in the town I live in I haven't been able to find a house.  Well not one where they didn't request your first born and a blood oath for a two room shack.  While living at my current location the landlord isn't interested in the upkeep of the property.  Everything that needs repaired has come out of my pocket, while paying this guy rent.

So a house came up.  Three bedroom, single bath.  I figured I would try to get a loan through the USDA for low income families.  We're a family of four, I'm the only one working and I barely make a buck over minimum wage.  So I just got off the phone with the person at the USDA and was pretty much denied.  The problem is that I have accrued 16k in debt trying to keep this place cobbled together and with mom passing a few months back, no insurance, my dad and brother aren't employed.  So it fell to me to foot the doctors and funeral costs.

My landlord informed me a few days ago that he is selling the business.  Since it's on the same property that we're renting.  The new owner doesn't want this eyesore of a residence behind his business.  We've been given the boot. 

What I do know is that this will not be simple to resolve.

My dad would gladly take us in.  Problem there is that he lives in a one bedroom shack with my brother. 

My wife's relatives are out as they like having the grand kids over but they don't want to be around them more than they have to be.  They're strapped for room too.

I can't apply for the apartments here in town since I got on the landlords bad side when he decided to screw over my friend that was renting from him.  He broke the contract and I advised my friend to take him to court.  So I burnt that bridge.

I can't turn my video game collection fast enough to get the money to help.  I would try if it wasn't for it being two weeks, two very short weeks.  I would have to sell the entire thing to even come close to my goal.  I know a small fraction of it would go fairly quickly.  The larger portion of it wouldn't.

I'm sitting here in a daze.  My mind is going ninety miles an hour and getting nowhere.  I'm sorry for dropping this here.  I just needed to vent a little.   







indenton

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2015, 06:26:26 pm »
This is a tricky situation you've got right here, but you shouldn't feel like this is your fault.  Unfortunately their are point in our lives when people around us will turn bad from greed, while they blindly ridicule real people around them. 

As someone who is 19 unemployed and studying, still living with parents, I am probably one of the worst people to be offering advice in these forums.  I'll try my best to at least give a little advice to try and get you back on your feet. 

Among all this, you do have someone out there who is willing to reach out in your time of need, maybe you should take up your Dads offer of a roof over your head, beggars can't be choosers (sorry if that sounded mean but...).  It sounds like you've been putting up with some pretty lame people recently, so surely you can put on a brave face and take a sleep on the couch (The sofa here in the UK).  Any flow of currency is something you need to cherish right now and I'm going to assume asking for any kind of raise from your boss is a no-go (unless you're on good terms maybe??). 

This might be out of the question if it's too far, but if not, you could try walking to and from work, save on travel expenses to help stockpile your savings for a bit, even if it's going to house keeping for now.  A nice walk outside before work will help wake you up if you have any early shifts, and you can feel better about it knowing you're getting a bit of exercise on the side. 

I'm sorry if this didn't help at all

ffxik

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2015, 07:11:11 pm »
I understand the beggars can't be choosers.  The only reason I'm not keen on the idea of moving back in with my dad.  It's the house I grew up in.  Normally not a problem.  It is only a living room, bedroom and "bathroom".  It doesn't have running water so the "bathroom" is honestly more a storage room.  If it were just me it wouldn't be a problem.  When you factor in a wife and two kids it's a problem. 

I already walk to work.   :)  I live just down the road from the factory.  That's what I like about living where I do.  My job and other necessities i.e. grocery store are within walking distance.  If I were to move in with my dad it would be 20 miles to the nearest, anything.  Including my job.

As far as the job goes.  I actually am on the managers good side.  Downside is I'm not eligible for a raise.   The company I work for isn't well known globally or even across the U.S. I would wager.  In the state of Missouri though it's pretty infamous for being a shit company to work for.  I have been hunting for a new job for awhile but to no avail.  I have been working for them for 13 years and make 8.65/hr.  There are people that were hired in last year making 9-10/hr doing the exact same thing I'm doing.  The only difference is I'm in a "different dept".

The bad thing is of the 16k debt I have managed to dig myself into.  If I could just figure out how to get 10k of it gone.  I could make this work. 

I actually could access 60k easily. 56k of it being my own life insurance policy.  If you catch my drift.  I also won't be any good to anybody 6 feet underground either.  So f*ck that noise.   :D
« Last Edit: March 05, 2015, 07:23:26 pm by ffxik »


Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2015, 07:52:42 pm »
Sorry to hear about your situation. That sucks.  :-\

Hard times for a lot of people, unfortunately. I'm not sure if you can draw or make crafts or something, but sometimes people find side hobbies that they can make money off of? You could also try opening a gofundme page or something?

Sounds like you need a better job if they're paying you <$9 an hour after 10+ years of employment. I have a friend who works at Walmart, and she's had the same luck. There's not much room, if any, for advancement. Of course, finding a new job is easier said than done. >.<;

I'm not really sure what advice to give, but I'm sure you'll figure things out! Not sure if you're a religious person, but I'll be sending a prayer for an answer your way, if that's okay.  :) If there is some way we can help, make sure to let us know! Game collections can mean a lot to people, and I'd hate to see anyone have to do that, especially because it's something you put a lot more into than you'll ever get out.

indenton

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2015, 08:03:28 pm »
Have you spoken with this new owner yourself, or have you just been informed through your previous landlord.  You could try speaking with this new owner face-to-face and let him/her know about your problem.  Keep your cool, put on your best clothes, don't come off as hostile, but don't suck up to them either, don't let this stranger brush you aside like this.  It might be there business, but it's also your lives in the balance. 

The face-to-face part is important, let them know that you're not just a voice on the phone, you're not just a message passed on from a middle-man.  That you're are in-fact a real family of 4 whose lives are about to be turned upside down by their smug, heartless business decisions.  Make sure to make it clear what exactly they're doing to you and your family. 

If by some chance that did work, even if it was only a temporary stay, it should at least give you that bit of slack to gather together some funds and patch things up. 

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2015, 10:18:00 pm »
I'm sorry to hear all of this is happening to you, but the best advice I can give you is you're gonna have to hustle and do everything to meet ends meet.  When you get home from work every day start entering sweepstakes whether its directly or by liking facebook pages what have you there are a decent amount, it may sound stupid but hey you win anything even a blender you sell that its food for a week.  Go through and answer surveys online about how you feel about different products and other things and you'll make a few dollars here and there.  Again it's all small, but in times of needs these things can help.  Also It sucks, but you could split up yourself and your family for a bit, you move in with your dad and brother while your wife and kids live with the grandparents and maybe switch if the little ones get on the grandparents nerves.  The worst part may be selling your collection, won't be the first, nor last time one of us needs to dump some if not all of it for real life.  The last thing I can think of if the online sweepstakes and surveys seem ineffective then any and all odd jobs you can pick up would be good.  Go on craigslist and you may find a farmer who wants help bailing hay or whatever and it won't pay much but something is better than nothing.  One last thing just came to mind that might be a little weird for some people, but I'm just trying to help in anyway I can think of, but you can try selling your sperm, blood, or bone marrow.  Now I'm not sure if this is real or whatever but I know I've seen them talk about it in movies and I'm not sure if it works or if it's real so don't get mad if that sounded stupid.  If I come up with anything else I'll post again because even if I can't help it's better than not trying.

soera

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2015, 10:22:20 pm »
If you decide to move, I can try to house you for a little while here in Oklahoma.

I can also try to help you find a job here.

amauriel

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #7 on: March 06, 2015, 11:17:40 am »
I don't know what the cost of living is like there, but here around Columbus, OH, a factory would never be able to exist and pay their people $9-10 an hour, let alone the $8 you're making. I started in a call center at $14.50 five years ago, and most of them pay at least $12.

I know you seem to like where you live and what you are doing, but it may be time to reevaluate your area. I moved here from a really small town and the cost of living really didn't go up much (I pay about $150 more in rent but it's for a much nicer town house rather than a small apartment) and the pay for even non-skilled labor is consistently $3-4/hr higher than where I grew up.

If you really want to stay where you are and do what you're doing, you've got a rough road ahead. Nothing we say is going to change that. But it's doable. You might want to contact Job and Family Services and see what's available. They're there to help, not to judge, and a large majority of the people working those programs do so because they want to see situations improve. Some states even have programs for free education into skilled labor to help you qualify for non-factory work. Either way, cutting food expenses or assistance with housing costs or things like that would make it a bit easier, and I know when I registered for unemployment a few years ago everything was processed within two weeks.

My husband was hospitalized without insurance a couple times right after we got married, and we spent a couple rough months with my parents (luckily, we don't have children, so that makes it a bit easier). We're still working through some of our debt from that time, almost 10 years later. Things get better every day and we can reward ourselves with games and things we never could have afforded before. It unfortunately seems to be a situation of "Do what you can until you can do more, then do that."
"You can buy everything, except love, friendship, and exp. points."


gf78

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #8 on: March 06, 2015, 12:28:06 pm »
So very sorry for you my friend.  I"ve been close to where you are and one of my best friends has found himself homeless in the past.  You said you live in Missouri.  May I ask a general area?  I live in Missouri as well and work as a Corrections Officer.  It's a decent paying job with ok benefits and insurance.  If you haven't had any felony convictions in the past, you could always look into that.  As for housing, there are places all around the state that offer temporary housing for individuals and families in your circumstances.  I believe under Missouri law, you also have to be served an official eviction notice, notarized through the courts and you have a certain amount of time before you have to vacate the house.  You really need to look into that with the local authorities.  The new owner may be trying to tell you that you have two weeks to leave, but by law I'm pretty sure that is completely illegal, especially if you haven't been served any kind of official notice.

Before I took a job for the Dept. of Corrections, I worked at Huffy Bicycles.  Worked my hands to the bone, broke my back and got a hellacious case of carpal tunnel in both wrists/arms that put an end to my "gaming career" for several years.  To this day, I still feel the effects if I game for more than about an hour at a time.  If you have the opportunity to get away from that, please take it. 

I know it doesn't help the "here & now" situation of trying to find some housing, but it may be something you can look at to help your situation once this is resolved.  I hope I have been able to offer a small bit of help.  Take care of yourself.
« Last Edit: March 06, 2015, 12:39:43 pm by gf78 »
Currently playing:  Last of Us Part II Remastered, Cyberpunk 2077 Ultimate Edition
Currently listening to:  Iron Maiden & Ghost
Currently Watching:  Cyberpunk Edgerunners & Last of Us

gf78

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #9 on: March 06, 2015, 12:35:24 pm »
I don't know what the cost of living is like there, but here around Columbus, OH, a factory would never be able to exist and pay their people $9-10 an hour, let alone the $8 you're making. I started in a call center at $14.50 five years ago, and most of them pay at least $12.

That is Missouri for you.  Factories pay everyone around here like they are dirt.  You can actually earn a better wage working for Walmart, White Castle or other similar businesses and do a lot less damage to your body in the process.
Currently playing:  Last of Us Part II Remastered, Cyberpunk 2077 Ultimate Edition
Currently listening to:  Iron Maiden & Ghost
Currently Watching:  Cyberpunk Edgerunners & Last of Us

dreama1

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #10 on: March 06, 2015, 03:52:22 pm »
I understand the beggars can't be choosers.  The only reason I'm not keen on the idea of moving back in with my dad.  It's the house I grew up in.  Normally not a problem.  It is only a living room, bedroom and "bathroom".  It doesn't have running water so the "bathroom" is honestly more a storage room.  If it were just me it wouldn't be a problem.  When you factor in a wife and two kids it's a problem. 

I already walk to work.   :)  I live just down the road from the factory.  That's what I like about living where I do.  My job and other necessities i.e. grocery store are within walking distance.  If I were to move in with my dad it would be 20 miles to the nearest, anything.  Including my job.

As far as the job goes.  I actually am on the managers good side.  Downside is I'm not eligible for a raise.   The company I work for isn't well known globally or even across the U.S. I would wager.  In the state of Missouri though it's pretty infamous for being a shit company to work for.  I have been hunting for a new job for awhile but to no avail.  I have been working for them for 13 years and make 8.65/hr.  There are people that were hired in last year making 9-10/hr doing the exact same thing I'm doing.  The only difference is I'm in a "different dept".

The bad thing is of the 16k debt I have managed to dig myself into.  If I could just figure out how to get 10k of it gone.  I could make this work. 

I actually could access 60k easily. 56k of it being my own life insurance policy.  If you catch my drift.  I also won't be any good to anybody 6 feet underground either.  So f*ck that noise.   :D
You have paypal? We could all help out just until you get back on your feet. I'm sure if we all put our heads together we can help.



tpugmire

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #11 on: March 06, 2015, 04:40:33 pm »
If you have a good driving record, see if there are any openings at a FedEx station in your area. It's the best job I've ever had, and you don't need a degree.

http://careers.van.fedex.com
This message was brought to you by Tootsie Rolls, the official candy of vgcollect.com

ffxik

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #12 on: March 06, 2015, 06:46:53 pm »
Guys your replies here have brought me a good deal of happiness.  The community here is something to really be proud of.   :D

I'll try to answer your questions thus far.

As far as selling my collection goes.  I had some offers in the past and decided to contact the individuals to see how serious they were.  Out of five, one took me up on the offer and I was able to try to work something out.  I need at least 10k and the buyer balked and wanted to give no more than 6k.  I figured that selling it at $7.50 per piece was fair.  Maybe I was wrong....

Have I spoken to the new owner?  Yes, cool dude.  The time limit isn't his it's mine.  This is how long the owner of the house is going to wait until he decides we're not moving fast enough.  So I'm trying to move as fast as possible.

Splitting up the family.  I actually thought of this.  Then my wife's family lives in Eminence, my family lives in Montier and we currently live somewhere in the middle in Winona.  It's 11 miles to hers and 14 to mine we have only one vehicle and a kid in school here in Winona, plus my job.  My dad doesn't have a running vehicle.  I would have to leave the car with the wife since her mom is heavy maintenance, big rigs and the like and is usually gone.

That is a very kind offer soera.   :D

The cost of living isn't actually that bad.  This just happens to be one of those times. lol As far as it goes I don't mind doing what I'm doing.  I don't hate the actual job, just a lot of the BS I have to put up with at times.  But hey that's a job for ya.  On that note.  When I made supervisor I had to sit in on the leadership meeting our HR director was doing.  It's very demeaning to have somebody tell you there isn't anybody in the place worth over $9/hr.   The workers in Winona aren't worth it but they are paying 10+ in Bourbon, for essentially the same job...  I would have abandoned this place long ago.  Except jobs in the area are scarce. You just have to suck it up put on your big boy pants and do what you have to do to try to support the family. 

The Job and Family services are actually a bust in this area.  When you call them up the only places they offer up for full time is Paramount Apparel International Inc.  Guess where I'm employed....  There is also Missouri Hardwoods in Birch Tree.  It's hard to get employed there when you have two crushed discs in your lower back and nerve damage in both arms, from the factory.  The irony of this isn't lost on me either.

Driving record is non-existent.  With the nerve damage in my arms and hands if I keep them in any one position for anything longer than 15-20 minuter they go numb and unresponsive.  So guess who doesn't have a drivers license anymore. 

I have a paypal and I opened a gofundme earlier after my deal fell through.  The thought of this makes me sick to my stomach though.  I was taught you help those in need and never ask for help in return.  Because there is always somebody out there less fortunate than you.

This is the reason I'm in the spot I'm in originally.  We were expecting our daughter and when I was working at Paramount I was part of the garment runners for NIKE.  We got paid .22 a dozen piece work for embroidering the Swoosh on the left chest.  Fun fact: The total production cost of a single tee is 3.57.  Marked up to $25.00  I was making over $12/hr.  That's a lot of Tee's.

A few monthes before she was born the company owner Mark Reubenstien came down and thanked us all for our hard work and let us know we actually getting paid on average less than the division in Mexico.  Right before he shut it down in the next breath.  I went from $12/hr to $6.90/hr in a single day.  I looked for other employment then but had zero luck.  Figured I would tough it out there.  Try to do it all by myself.  No aid, no assistance.  "Pride comes before the fall"  Truer words...

Sorry for the long post I'm just trying to keep from double posting.   :-[



indenton

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #13 on: March 06, 2015, 10:16:16 pm »
oh geez, I'm getting completely lost in all of this.  I hope someone else can step in for some help here because I've got nothing. 

ffxik

Re: A rock and a hard place.
« Reply #14 on: March 07, 2015, 11:36:13 am »
oh geez, I'm getting completely lost in all of this.  I hope someone else can step in for some help here because I've got nothing. 

Nobody here needs to fret about us.  We will manage somehow.  I am grateful for all the support and advice.  It means the world to us.  To know that people can help somebody they've never met before.  :D

I have put my gofundme in my signature.  I want everybody to know they should not feel obligated to help. 
« Last Edit: March 07, 2015, 11:43:38 am by ffxik »