I come from a war torn future ravaged by indecision over what things are best. Luckily, in your time, there was a small window wherein a visitor from the stars in disguise of Earth's greatest boxer probed humanity to learn what we liked best. The beginnings of his work can be seen
here or
here or
here or
here or EVEN...
here. His actions are imperative for the continuation of the human race. Unfortunately, his miracle surveys where spread to thin over the course of 200 human years, their effects dissipated over the thread of time. Though the last bastion of hope, the self-aware V-G-c011ect supercomputer database, I was able to compile these questions of peace and travel to the here and now. With MvC2's final work we can save humanity! I have with me the near completed versus chart of our benevolent visitor before he had to return to his home planet. You must decide what is best...! Don't let his work be in vain...! Check the corresponding letters and numbers for a short MvC2-esque description of what is best!
Numbers Bracket1. Dumpster - Holds garbage people don't want. Is home for hobos. Diving in the shallow end is not advised.
2.Cobbler - Fixes shoes. Is not a gnome, despite all scientific evidence. Uses a little hammer.
3. Spork - Is 2 tools in one. Is more convenient than 1 tool, but less tacky than many. Humanity's greatest invention.
4. Letter X - Marks the spot of treasure. Three let you know what is pornographic or alcoholic. Two let you know who is most interesting, and alcoholic.
5. Religion - Claims to save people, but more often kills them. No matter the result, 90% are wrong. Practitioners often wear hats.
6. Mike Tyson - World's greatest champion. Great disguise for star travelers. Bites ears, so humans will not approach on fear of ear biting.
7. C.H.U.D. - Lives in sewers, and are mean. Starred in popular Earth movies. Have dope glowing eyes.
8. ZX Spectrum - Human computing machine in the UK. Has a rainbow to support gay rights. Unparalleled computing power until Earth year 2087.
9. Mustache - Grows on lips. Infrequent on females despite aesthetic appeal. Ensures lips will not be lonely.
10. Gak - Green goop often digested by children. Gets in rugs, causing large humans to yell at small humans. Sometimes made in science class.
11. Scratching - Near-automatic response to stimuli. Causes itch-scratch-itch cycle, devolving into pure hedonism. Humans can't reach where they need it the most.
12. Sombrero Galaxy - Home galaxy of MvC2 people. Is not the closest, but is not the furthest away. Is shaped like a hat.
13. Turtle - Reptile who carries his home, much like a human RV. Are known to subsist purely on Pizza. Fear plumbers.
14. Stump - Byproduct of books and take out menus. Equivalent of chopping of human feet and leaving them there. Cannot be trumped.
15. Tuesday - The second work day, still much work to look forwards to. Payment of hamburgers is reserved for this day. No human ever thanks a deity for it.
16. Surf Nazis Must Die - Movie about Nazis who enjoy water sports. First film featuring famous Earth actress Leroy's Mama. Earth's greatest form of artistic expression.
Letters BracketA. Vegemite - A form of poison for medium to large sized lifeforms. It was created by Hitler and Satan during The Civil World War 3. It's use has been deemed a war crime.
B. Grandma - Kindly mother of a human's parents. Bakes cookies and legitimately believes Marmaduke is funny. Will die very, very soon.
C. Consumerism - The trade of paper and metal for different paper and metal. Works best for humans because they are greedy. Sales are limited time offers, so I urgently must buy everything lest the opportunity cost elapse in favor of resource costs.
D. Ground - Humble and hardworking, never thanked. Prevents all terrestrial creatures from falling in lava. Oddly, will sometimes be made of lava when children are about.
E. Turnip - Rocket fuel of the proletariat. Has no taste to not distract from the worker's lot in life. Earth's most beautiful women are often stated to have the characteristics of one.
F. 3 1/2 Floppy Disk - Futuristic device which contains data. 64kb is enough to hold all human data which is correct. Not as floppy as it's larger cousins.
G. E Flat - Sound that can be picked up by human ears. Despite being called flat, does not contain any dimensions whatsoever. Often used in more complex tunes with other notes, but is considered to stand on it's own by most.
H. Dent - Displacement of materiel inwards, causing a crater where one is not expected to be. Is often seen as a detriment instead of uniqueness. Humans like all things to be uniform.
I. Asthma - Genetic evolution of humans to cut reliance on opiate known as oxygen. Treated as an illness by humans who fear the unknown. Most humans with this mutation play a small flute known as an inhaler.
J. Confusion - Mental state in which Earth creatures are uncertain. Documented cases on Earth television show question marks erupting from heads, though never observed personally. Most common response to MarvelVsCapcom2 questionnaires.
K. Regicide - The evisceration of an Earth monarch. Sometimes Kings are jerks and asking nicely doesn't work. Earth author Stephen King lives in constant fear of this.
L. Random Chance - The true rule of which all the universe follows. A giant rock could fall out of the sky and crush you tomorrow. Life was created by random chance, which is why we worship it in the Sombrero Galaxy.
M. Steve Buscemi - Earth actor of screen and stage. Considered the greatest by all but a split faction of Earthlings who believe that honor falls on Billy Baldwin. Was fed into a wood chipper in Fargo.
N. Blue - One of the limited number of colors found on Earth. Is the color of their skies, seas, blue crayons and speedy hedgehogs. Is often thought to be true, but is in actuality false.
O. Dunsparce - Underestimated, but scientifically proven best Pokemon. Has little wings that don't work and a drill tail. Was robbed by Pikachu of his rightful series mascot status.
P. Object Permanence - Knowledge that objects do not disappear from reality when leaving one's field of vision. Highly overrated among human abilities. A subject often majored in at Earth colleges known as "Gender Studies" there, and involving potential earnings disappearing.
It is up to YOU as denizens of your time period to save the Earth by filling out this bracket...! Anything less than complete completion of each step with reasoning why will lead us to an era of darkness beyond your comprehension! ...but even in the future, us doomed few have responsibilities, so you could just say which one is best... I'm not gonna judge. I mean, sure, you COULD change the timeline where my children had to eat their mother because going outside to scavenge for tree bark is too risky, but whatever. It's not YOUR problem when you can just play on your ZX Spectrums all day and occasionally mow the lawn. Whatever.
But you all must member one thing:
Praise MarvelVsCapcom2 for making this wonderful struggle for life possible! May he forever wear the dopest of robes!
Why did I do this? I don't know. I'm bored and MarvelVsCapcom2 just inspired me with his wackiness.
