8. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas [PS2/PS4] -
Finished - Feb 17th, 2026.jpg)
A STAR THAT SHINES SO BRIGHT, THAT IT DIMS THE REST OF GAMING AS A WHOLE. ALL OTHER GAMES LOSE LUSTER IN COMPARISON(
Both PS2 and PS5. Because I started on OG Hardware and finished on Definitive EditionSpeechless.... Speechless comes to mind when describing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. The sheer impropriety in which the game transports you into it's world is sickening in the sense that it gives you whiplash with just how good it is. Flawless even, gorgeously perfect. Played it in 2026.
No rose-tinted childhood bias. No “it was my first GTA” filter. It's the difference between the idealogy of existing for human enjoyment and existing for human consumption. A sweet soylent shake meant to sustaine a human, versus charred marshmellow meant to peak glucose. It is a generation coming together to leave a phantom rose on the grave of humanity. It may just be the gamer community as a collective's swan, atop the toxic waters of past tense creativity. It's an encapsulated human soul. It is jarred charisma. How good it is I wasnt prepared for. How unique and crafty it is... how fun and cunning it is. But in pure retrospect. The game is so incredible that it begins to dwarf its contemporaries. It begins to make a mere mirage out of my all time favorites and it bullies itself into my top 15 games of all time. And it may just Suge Knight dangle GTA V off a balcony to get itself there. It shows me how special a game can be. Perhaps effortlessly. And I now understand why it is the bar Rockstar North and its fan base keeps chasing like it's Orion's belt guiding it to a peak that may never be seen again. How even a decade older did it manage to be this much more immersive, consuming and dazzling is beyond me. But it really is a masterpiece. The movie colors meets beethoven symphonies meets a Dave Chapelle sketch.
The thing is. I grew up playing vice city with my step dad, dad, mom, brothers, at 7 years old. It was a friend. It was familiar. I was disallowed from playing San Andreas because at the time it had extreme hype and hate and an AO rating on some copies. So i'd sneak to play it at my cousins and put out atv vs bmx or whatever its called case to throw my mom off the scent.. It is nostalgic in a secret far away distant star kind of way. Well now at 29. I can say. I beat San Andreas. And I missed a lot... but no longer. It didnt have rose tinted nostalgia goggles. It had just raw day 1 feel and it still knocks socks.
To put it into perspective how good it is, I will pit it directly against it's flashier and younger sister at times to just show how San Andreas has set a gold standard for sandbox games that can't be sniffed in my opinion or experience.. Although it feels a bit hindsight forward to compare the game to GTA 5. I couldn't help but notice all of the elements GTA V recycled sloppily and all the elements they failed to duplicate that made San Andreas not only feel more Californian, More Genuine but also more hilarity infused pure fun. It feels like someone stole their own potato salad recipe and botched it. For example. San Andreas's story is draped with extra terrestial espionage, winding water silos with government henchman, area 51, the mob, the movie casino? Basically inside of the movie straight out of compton. It covers all worlds, gangsters, nerds, rivalries, hippies, aliens, big foots, hover crafts, fighter jets, go karts, jet packs, swat unimog tanks, monster trucks, derby cars, tuners, putting out fires, exotics. 3 different destinct police forces with 3 distinct habits. It's a world that lives. RPG elements. Personalities. Where as in GTA 5 even when I wonder into the wilderness of Los Santos, it feels very grounded. Safe. Things begin to look alike. Even when you press the relationships within you realize that most behave similarly.
Grand Theft Auto San Andreas not only features a full fledged 90s gang war torn version of los angeles (los santos) which is plenty large enough and fantastic enough to be the entirety of the game. But it features San Francisco too (san fierro) and everything down to the cobble stone winding hill roads, Bougie boutiques, expensive clothes shops, full house set and even the golden gate bridge is remade in stunning detail for its day. And just when you think your socks are properly rocked enough. It hits you with a moflippin' sneak shot and anchors the Boyz N Da Hood, straight outta compton meets godfather II masterpiece of a story in this light wrapped Las Vegas clone that is so pretty and immersive that it feels like you are going on vacation everytime you travel between towns. It's just too much to even describe. It feels like 3 to 4 worlds in one. The hicks areas of San Bernidino, the missions make most to dabble you in these new and fresh landscapes it seems to zig zag you between. It works to keep everything you do in this world fresh.
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The cameos? The love letter to the franchise elements? But I havent touched on the sheer scope of all there is to do in this game. Dating? Girlfriends? You can pick between a good handful although Denise is Canon imo. And each girl doesn't just pop up, they have unique plot paths that lead CJ to admiration with them. Flowers can be found in random bushes on highways, graveyards, or other like areas that can be saved as a theoretical gift for a later date in which you take your in game gf to cluckin bell (chic fil a) in game. Of course this is between working out to build muscle which raises your sex appeal and helps chemistry with your partners in general. Its one of the elements of the game I explored least and in itself is pretty much a dating sim. Now hear me out boss... say you finish up with the date and want to drive to Las Venturas and gamble? Put 10000 dollars on Red 23? You can do that. Maybe you want to race dirt bikes at a dirt ring for 25 grand first place prize? Do it. Perhaps you want to assemble a posse of 7 gang members, drive them all in a bus to a rival gang area and declare war? Have turf. Have stake in properties? Maybe you want to work for a mining quarry for wage? Perhaps all that is wack and you'd rather deliver stolen oil rigs for money instead as one of at least 10 optional "jobs" you can do. All of this is just the tip of the ice berg of what can be done. I feel like ive lived a second or 3rd life by even playing this game. I street raced Woozie's triads, met friends, became loyal, understood the concepts of friendship over novelty. Honor over material. And karmic retribution. All from a video game.
San Andreas is systemic immersion.
- Stats that matter
- Body changes that matter.
- Relationships that matter.
- Territory that changes color.
- Skills that unlock mechanical depth.
-Money progression that reflects growth.
The ammunations (gun store) even have a shooting range which improves your shooting skill which unlocks you weapon improvements like dual wiedling smgs. Everything has a method to it's madness.
You can get fat!! Like eat yourself to vomiting. But if you eat yourself to the point you vomit. You dont get as fat as you would if you ate a bit less. Because the game literally accounts for the vomit as losing some of what you ate. Exercise improves stamina stats. Muscle can be built at the gym. Gym has boxing tutorials, martial arts and more.
To quickly put it in perspective again
NONE of these are available in 5. 5 has 3 full characters who arent able to date or have romantic lives, work out, change body type, go to casinos, or even take over factions with a posse outside of gta online. To say that it is a poor mans San Andreas as a map, layout and even story is sadly truth and im stunned I waited this long to experience it. But thats not a knock on V. A titan of industry. It is a praiss to san andreas. An unbeatable symphony.
Later games do however recycle entire mission sequences that I wont share for spoiler purposes as they may be meaningful to the plot. But man... lets just say. Big brother passed down the clothes that didnt fit him anymore. But San Andreas did everything better. Everything. Thats what happened. San Andreas is rockstars magnum opus. The beatles had abby road. Eminem had marshall matthers LP. Simpsons had seasons 4 through 10. Well this is Rockstar when they werent trying to pedal shark cards to kids or survive off name only. It wasnt playing it safe. It was trying to kill it's competition if it even had any after vice city. That trilogy of the ps2 era is truly scary. I clapped during the credits of this game. It keeps the GTA Hilarity and humor but it also feels so much more beleivable, mature, realistic, nuanced. Everything from the bond with your mexican friend Cesar, the hatred of the games villains, the funny sibling rivalry that unfolds. The anticipation of events that are rumored but awaiting.
Turf wars are also a blast. The way they work is the map has 3 colors. Green (your gang the grove st) purple (the rival gang the ballaz) and yellow (mexican gang. The vatos) and when you roll up into another area and initiate violence it starts a gang war. Waves of gang members come and you gotta kill them all to claim the hood.
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Few games make you feel like you lived an entire crime saga. The licenses both for biking, planes and cars alike at the multiple schools are also a blast. They feel more like mini games than say a tutorial or mandatory boredom.
Landing a commercial liner on a runway that has a giant number 69 on it while Rod Stewart's young turks plays over the hazy sun kissed skies of Los Santos is a core gaming memory. Some of the side characters in this game stand out more than main characters in other games. It does a good job to make you care about these people. As if you have formed commraderie. Money starts scarce and builds to become easily obtainable as you go. It's fun to watch yourself become better both in money and skill. Everything you do is weighted and it rewards you.
And the game also has the absolute perfect amount of challenge. It requires massive skill. Especially the final mission but it rarely feels cheap. It feels just pure gaming. Soundtrack? Gangsta rap. The radio dj announces the songs as if they are new. It really makes you feel like snoop just dropped a new banger in 1990s. Boyz to men. Bobby Brown. Classic alt grunge rock? Bliss
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Take the transportive nostalgia and era projecting of vice city and mix it with the expansive map and depth of 5. Give it 3s edge, 1s humor and 4's variety with relationships and you get what I can only call the metacritic love darling... and possibly my new favorite grand theft auto.
San Andreas.
The review is so long but I still havent covered even half. It's just its own world. And I love it.
Rating - 100/100
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