Nasty/Weird/Crazy Stuff You Have Seen As An Employee

[disgaeniac]

Hypothetically speaking, of course --And--

Making the mighty big presumptions & assumptions that anyone were to even 'suspend-their-disbelief' strongly enough & long enough; to enable them to believe my hypothetical to have any merit or honesty in it...

As a retired/Ex / 'pretend' and 'hypothetical' drug dealer - working as an "independant" at times, while - at other times, working with "employees" that had to answer to me (and, of course, some that I had to answer to:) -

- leading to & resulting in spending time as a 'guest-of-the-state(s)' in 3 different states; because - while there exists no officially printed "company policies & rules" manuals (it *IS* made quite plain - and very, very heavily-implied that...part of your job description that

"Talking" = No bueno - while

"Not Talking" = intelligence, safety, care taken of your loved ones, and...

...*After* all of that - at the end of the day/week/month/year; receiving one hell of a hard-earned bonus for a job well done 

And...to continue & stretch-out my fictional hypothetical even more -

If I presently made (a very nice) living, by being a (very good & "lucky") professional gambler (all legal, if this was non-fiction) my house being < a half hour from Atlantic City (by road or water)...

...Man oh, man!

If there was such a person - why, I'd bet that he/she had seen many interesting & unique things that would come under the "Job/Work" umbrella 

Shit.

I'd sure as hell like to hear from such a person! 

*EDIT*

Damn...that'd be some pretty funny & coincidental shit if this post was being typed at the same time as one by a CO 

[gf78]

Damn...that'd be some pretty funny & coincidental shit if this post was being typed at the same time as one by a CO 

LOL.   

[disgaeniac]

Damn...that'd be some pretty funny & coincidental shit if this post was being typed at the same time as one by a CO 

LOL.   

seriously, though!

wtf are the odds on that shit happening?!

[fighterpilot562]

More adventures from my time at Stater Bros:

At least 4 times people crap themselves and tracked it around the store.

A bum crapped himself, missed the entire inside of the toilet, but hit the seat, sides, floor, and left his boxers.

Upstairs bathrooms flooding, leading it to leak down in the checkstand area

Kid pissed himself in the checkstand area, the dummy boxboy tried to clean it up with paper towels. (you would think a 25 year old would know better than to clean a puddle of piss with PTs)

Puke in the bakery

Cleaning out floor drains. Service Deli was the worst. Never ate their food.

Cleaning out meat cases. Wanna know what 2 weeks worth of frozen blood smells like after it warms up?

They finally replaced the entire meat case one day..... The entire store smelled horrible.

The weekly bone barrow pick up was bad. They had to roll it from the front of the store to the back.... they used a garbage truck to pick it up. that thing smelled foul.

Someone crapping right on top of the seat. and the evening crew didnt bother cleaning it up. So when I came in for graveyard. It was dried and I had to deal with it. 

[gf78]

Damn...that'd be some pretty funny & coincidental shit if this post was being typed at the same time as one by a CO 

LOL.   

seriously, though!

wtf are the odds on that shit happening?!

Flip-sides of the same coin?  I'm no crusader of justice, just a guy working to make a living for my family.

[disgaeniac]

Damn...that'd be some pretty funny & coincidental shit if this post was being typed at the same time as one by a CO 

LOL.   

seriously, though!

wtf are the odds on that shit happening?!

Flip-sides of the same coin?  I'm no crusader of justice, just a guy working to make a living for my family.

Meh, like anything & everything else in life...there's decent CO's and ass-hole CO's - just like there's decent cons + cons that are ass-holes.  I went to high school with, and I'm still friends w/ some guys that are CO's.

*Generally* most of the CO's that I've known that were ass-holes...were the ones that couldn't get a job as a cop/agent, etc...and it showed.

The CO's happy enough to just be working & making a living as CO's...were generally just fine (many of them - were just future & potential inmates that just hadn't been caught yet )

[tpugmire]

Never had any particularly gross or crazy experiences at work. I've had a couple of strange deliveries in my years at FedEx though. Like:

Delivering to a funeral home DURING a funeral. AWKWARD!
Delivering to a strip club, and trying desperately to act professional in the face of boobies.

[amauriel]

I was the IT administrator for a small, rural, high-poverty school district for several years. I have tons of stories of weird IT things if anyone wants to hear them, but I thought I'd go with just a crazy and a nasty, only one of which relates to IT.

The crazy: I had just started my job and they'd never had a full-time tech person before. The high school secretary had some favorite teachers and if one of those needed me for the most trivial of things, she'd have me paged on the PA to the teacher's classroom. About two weeks of this (I was K-12 and couldn't just be on call for the high school), and I'd had it. I barged into the secretary's office and said something like "Listen, I've got a server that I'm working on upstairs and if it goes down, we all go down. Don't page me unless something is on fire!" and headed up the stairs.

About two hours later, I hear the page: "Amauriel, please report to Mr. So-and-so's room. His computer is on fire." Sure enough, when I walked in the room, there was a billow of black smoke rising from his monitor. I ran over and found that he hadn't even unplugged it before calling the office. It hadn't actually caught fire, but of course I had to tear the monitor open to see why it was smoking. Come to find out, he had the computer sitting below his chalkboard for so many years that the miniscule amount of graphite in the chalk had connected two circuits and made it short out.

The nasty: I had the office beside the part-time school psychologist. She was the one who had to sign off on any requests to contact Child Services for a student. We once had a child sent to the office because he'd had bugs all over him. Come to find out, the child's living conditions were so bad that a cockroach had laid eggs inside his ear canal and they were beginning to hatch. That's the only time I remember a child actually being completely removed from their home situation.

[kashell]

Working in labs most of my professional life, you see (and smell) some nasty chemicals. I'll list a few of the nasty things I've seen/worked with:

1. Hexavalent chromium. This orange acid will eat through your clothes; it happened to me. A drop. -A DROP- is enough to make holes in your good sweater. And this was when I was wearing a lab coat.

2. Cyanide copper. Anyone on here should know what cyanide can do to the human body. Unfortunately, it's a cheap and easy to use component in copper plating. More on this later. Just understand that, for now, it smells terrible.

3. UV sensitive components. I won't mention the name of the chemical due to my security clearance, but I will say chemicals that are sensitive to sunlight smell awful and will f*ck you up if you get it on you and don't wash. A coworker got some splashed on his leg. Even though he was wearing pants, him going outside resulted in third degree burns.

4. All of the acids, bases and indicators needed to perform reactions and test chemicals were lethal in some way or another.

Now for the weird/crazy issue. This story might make you wince. It involves the above mentioned cyanide copper.

Two to three weeks into a new job, I was working on the computer. It was on a Thursday afternoon. A few folks asked me where my manager was. I told them that she was at lunch. At least, I thought she was at lunch. Eventually, the usual lunch hour ended and she was still nowhere to be found. I was still working on the computer since I had a lot of chemicals to test that day.

With the way the room was set up, I never heard much of the goings on around the facility. Eventually, my coworker came up to me in somewhat of a panic. She asked if the manager had came back yet and, again, I told her she was likely still at lunch. My coworker said that her car was in the parking lot, so she couldn't be at lunch. I didn't think anything of it; maybe she stepped out for a phone call or was in the restroom or something.

Five minutes later, the same coworker came back in a hysterical frenzy. She told me that they found our manager in a testing chamber, passed out. Unfortunately, she wasn't passed out. She committed suicide and went into the testing chamber since it was kind of out of sight. In her hands the coroners found a can of pop and a bottle of cyanide copper.

The company closed early that day. The next day, nothing got done because nearly everyone was in mourning. Our manager was a lovely person. She and I didn't know each other very long but she always wore fierce outfits and loved the fact that I complimented her on them. Heck, she hugged me the day I started. I was not expecting that. I would have liked to have known her more since the two of us clearly hit it off. In fact, everyone liked her from what I could tell. The following Monday the company was shut down in her honor and the day after was the funeral. The work resumed as normal on Wednesday.

Nothing has ever topped that as being "weird/crazy" and I hope nothing ever does because that was an experience I'll never forget.

[fazerco]

I worked in the flowers in a big greenhouse. And one day they decided to do the good thing, using biologic 'poisen' to kill some bugs. They used something with garlic in it, and that it stinked. Almost enough for everybody to quit. It stinked for the whole week there.

[docsarcastic]

Question asked by fighterpilot562.

What was my job?

I got a paperround until this game store opens nearby, basically secured my place there, it's a matter of the owner doing some last few things.

[dstone]

I used to work in the IT department for a metal building company. We had several programmers developing in-house software used for building pricing, automation systems, etc. One Monday afternoon I get a phone call from one of our Oracle programmers. Her computer was producing a lot of smoke and a strong burning odor. I grab my tool kit and a fire extinguisher and run down the hallway (about 200 feet) from the data center to the programmer's cubicle. She already had the machine turned off, unplugged and sitting in the middle of the floor. I take it back to my workbench and start disassembling it in order to remove the hard drive to image another machine for her. I pull out the hard drive cage and a pile of dead ants fall out. I keep removing components and find a huge (burnt) mass of dead ants inside the power supply. Turns out, over the weekend, our pest control guys sprayed the building. Not sure what drew the ants to her computer (she kept a clean workstation) but they crawled into the power supply and managed to short it out. I finished imaging a new computer for her about 30 minutes later and deployed it. While I was plugging everything back in several of the programmers wanted to know what happened and how I fixed it (their specialty was software, not hardware). I told them I had to debug the computer. This raised several more questions (as they were thinking "debug" in a programming sense) and I told them about the ants. I figured that was my one shot to crack a pun like that.



I was a camera operator at a small television station while working an internship (was later hired on as an engineer then made head of the engineering department before we got bought out). We produced a variety of talk shows and had just started planning our first game show. During our morning talk show we had a guest on to talk about their variety of bacon-flavored products. Just before going to break, the guest hinted at a new bacon-flavored product they were developing that would "spice up the bedroom life." For those that have never used an intercom system at a small TV station (or theater), it's like a group walkie-talkie system that doesn't go out over programming audio that allows the director to give instructions to the operators, among other things. Our director pops over our intercom headsets and mutters "bacon-flavored K-Y." I'm glad we were just going to commercial, not a single one of our cameras had a steady shot after that.

I kindof miss that station, lots of craziness happened both on- and off-camera.

[stethebubble]

someone left an open yogurt in a draw at work. i opened the draw and this liquid mold ran towards me as the room suddenly got filled with the smell of death. i puked and could not go back in the room for days. the yogurt could only be aged using carbon dating it was that old. i have not ate yogurt since.