What Kind of Geek Are You?

[htimreimer]

The Sacred Orders of Geek
Spawned from the union of yesterday's memes and obsessive technophiles, the mythical empire of Geekdom has been steadily expanding for decades, evolving and diversifying at each turn. Though hailing from different territories of geek, each new variety marches under the same banner. Check out some of the diverse inhabitants of Geektopia and see where you fit in.

Das Ubergeek
•The one geek to rule them all
•Has multiple Linux builds on multiple hard drive partitions
•Fluently codes in 5+ languages while listening to recordings of Neil deGrasse Tyson breathing

Apple Fanboy Geek
•Uses the word "intuitive" as often as possible
•Doesn't technically know what a megahertz is, but waxes notalgic for all 300 his bright-orange iBook boasted
•Though unemployed, can be spotted wandering around the Apple Store helping customers

Chic Geek
•Paired oxfords with shorts before seeing it on The Satorialist
•Knows the chefs by name at top-rated restaurants
•Has never set foot in an Old Navy

Cosplay Geek
•Flashes battleaxe / cleavage in every photo
•Will have you know that anime is more than "just tentacle porn"
•Can be spotted downing Redbulls after pulling an all-nighter putting the finishing touches on a codpiece

Star Wars Geek
•Knows that the 12 parsecs of Han Solo's Kessel Run are a distance, not time, measurement
•Owns an old VHS cassette of Return of the Jedi with suspiciously worn out sections of tape due to excessive rewinding and resuming
•At war with Trekkie Geeks

Trekkie Geek
•Knows over 10 ways to say "honor" in Klingon
•Only consumes "hard" science fiction, none of that "soft" drivel
•At war with Star Wars Geeks

Pop Culture Geek
•Knew about Britney Spears' divorce before even she did
•Has applied to The Real World for five consecutive years
•Knows the entire history of the Kardashian dynasty

Sports Geek
•Owns a baseball card collection more impressive than any 13 year old boy's
•Though not physically able to play sports, destroys his alpha male counterpoints every fantasy season
•Knows what beer pairs best with each professional sports league

Film Geek
•Knew who Jim Jarmusch was before Coffee and Cigarettes
•Won't permit the eating of food during screenings
•Will tell anyone who'll listen that "3D is destroying film's artistry"

Encyclopedia Geek
•Spends upwards of two hours every day browsing random Wikipedia articles
•Kills conversations daily with phrases like "That reminds me of Ibn Battuta's 14th century exploration of Galata"
•Thinks Jeopardy! is too mainstream

Music Geek
•Knows the difference between math rock and mathcore
•Scours online auctions for obscure 70's ambient electronica vinyls
•Claims to possess a vial of spit from Donald Fagen's saxophone

Gamer Geek
•Shouts "+1 mana" after every chugged Mountain Dew Code Red
•Thinks Final Fantasy VII is the greatest story ever told
•Plays DOA: Xtreme Beach Volleyball for the "physics engine"

Gadget Geek
•Likes any device that can be described as "modular"
•Brings a solar powered shower camping
•Subscribes to Popular Mechanics and shops at The Sharper Image

Comic Book Geek
•Claims to have once touched a copy of Action Comics No. 1
•Knows the entire history and mythology of the Marvel and DC universes
•Can accurately predict the outcome of any hypothetical battle between any two superheroes

Craft Geek
•Calls televisions "picture boxes"
•Can knit from zero to bivouac in 6.8 seconds
•Is on a first-name basis with the staff at Jo-Ann Fabrics and Home Depot

Internet Geek
•Identifies with either 4chan or Reddit, but never Digg
•Takes an unhealthy amount of pride in discovering new content before anyone else
•Reads infographics aboug geeks

http://www.bestcollegesonline.org/geek/

[gaiages]

Gamer Geek
•Thinks Final Fantasy VII is the greatest story ever told

If I had to think that to be in the sacred order of geeks, then I'd rather be the geek devil, or whatever the equivalent is.

[tpugmire]

I suppose if I had to choose one from the list, I'm a Star Wars geek.

[ffxik]

Gamer Geek
•Thinks Final Fantasy VII is the greatest story ever told

If I had to think that to be in the sacred order of geeks, then I'd rather be the geek devil, or whatever the equivalent is.

I think that should be under Psuedo-Gamer Geek

Gamer Geek
•Shouts "+1 mana" after every chugged Mountain Dew Code Red
•Thinks Final Fantasy VII is the greatest story ever told
•Plays DOA: Xtreme Beach Volleyball for the "physics engine"

Gamer Geek

• Shouts +1 health after every chugged Mountain Dew Code Red.
• Easily annoyed when someone says, "True Gamers play Call of Duty"
• Can find something to like about all platforms

There I fixed it.   

[desocietas]

*Sartorialist

  Not sure if that'd put me closer to being a chic geek, but hey, I'll take it. 

[scott]

I refuse to label myself based on these descriptions.

[soera]

Gamer Geek
•Shouts +1 health after every chugged Mountain Dew Code Red.
•Easily annoyed when someone says, "True Gamers play Call of Duty"
•Can find something to like about all platforms
•Thinks Final Fantasy VII is the greatest story ever told


PERFECT! This is the true definition of gamer geek and fits me well. (Added the FFVII part back in cause it fits).

[desocietas]

Gamer Geek
•Shouts +1 health after every chugged Mountain Dew Code Red.
•Easily annoyed when someone says, "True Gamers play Call of Duty"
•Can find something to like about all platforms
•Thinks Final Fantasy VII is the greatest story ever told


PERFECT! This is the true definition of gamer geek and fits me well. (Added the FFVII part back in cause it fits).

As long as you don't add a bulletpoint saying that the Metal Gear Solid: Guns of the Patriot actually deserved all the accolades it got.  Some of the worst dialog I've ever heard in a game...

[soera]

Any game like Halo, MGS, Call of Duty, etc is not on any list I care to have. You dont have to worry about that. 

[disgaeniac]

The kind that can not be defined adequately w/ mere words...as
words are wind...

The kind that defies any and all kinds of stereotypes, generalizations, and Over-simplifications...

The kind who is not at all ashamed to admit to still living w/ his mother as it is *HER*...Living in *MY* House...

In Other Words -

The kind that gets A Category of their own

[gaiages]

I think that should be under Psuedo-Gamer Geek

Gamer Geek
•Shouts "+1 mana" after every chugged Mountain Dew Code Red
•Thinks Final Fantasy VII is the greatest story ever told
•Plays DOA: Xtreme Beach Volleyball for the "physics engine"

Gamer Geek

• Shouts +1 health after every chugged Mountain Dew Code Red.
• Easily annoyed when someone says, "True Gamers play Call of Duty"
• Can find something to like about all platforms

There I fixed it.   

Ah, much better.  I thought the Mountain Dew thing sounded wrong too, but I just wanted to be dramatic. *shrug*

[ffxik]

Gamer Geek
•Shouts +1 health after every chugged Mountain Dew Code Red.
•Easily annoyed when someone says, "True Gamers play Call of Duty"
•Can find something to like about all platforms
•Thinks Final Fantasy VII is the greatest story ever told

PERFECT! This is the true definition of gamer geek and fits me well. (Added the FFVII part back in cause it fits).

There are better, let it be known.

[soera]

No way! FF VII rocks.

[scott]

No way! FF VII rocks.

While FFVII has an excellent story, I still say FFVI's story was way better.

[soera]

I do love me some Terra.