I have tried not to comment on the depression thing but I think I will now. I am 27 years old and from my teen years through early adult, I took numerous anti psychotics, depression and bipolar meds, was in 2 mental facilities, od once as a teen, countless therapy and counselors all until I was about 19. I have extreme depression randomly all the time. I have exercises I do and I'm good now for the most part but it was so bad back then that I was always on watch. I still get those very low points every hear and there but I recover more quickly than I used to.
Let me tell you my point of view. When I od befire and survived, God told me too. I used to literally hear voices thst would tell me to do things. I've always felt like I don't belong on this earth. At any family gathering, I pretend I'm happy and smile when I hate being around all them. Its like a demon stuck inside my mind. I love researching history, the bible, the Koran, space , etc. That I used to learn basic Hebrew to tall to my voices. I love certain music I can relate too. Like Nirvana, jimi Hendrix because I feel like I know thwre mental struggle.
Anyways, I started seeking counceling again and am trying. Whn robin Williams died my mom called me to ask if I was okay and to promise her I would never kill myself. I simply told her thw truth which at this particular time in life, I know I'm not gping to do it but I cannot promise I never will because I know my mind.
The reason I started therapy as a teen was bc my mom found a diary in my room which had suicidal poetry, poetry about the government and how I'm always watched by demons and personal plots on how to kill myself and they found a journal where I wrote about my obsession with assinations and the ones who we 're killed and killed. My obsession with john lennon and lee oswald to name a few I guess scared her and I was off to mental hospital at 14 years old. Part of my problem was the abuse by my stwp father who made sure I came to school with black eyes a few times. My mom didn't do anything about that but said I had to go. Back to the point, I am very proud of myself now because compared to then I'm doing amazing. Video games has helped Me find a way out and I enjoy them. I actually find happiness with games and this site. I have been goig to skin doctor to get this big ugly object removed and hope its not skin cancer. After that, my girl already has my bags packed and I got to go and stsrt a new life.
Basically we feel out of touch with this world and I am more stuck in the spiritual realm of life. I am okay now but ur peayers are welcome as I still slip sometimes and don't know why. Thanks for listening. I been working on not peetending anymo err e and your comments about suicide , I just couldn't give in and had to say all this bc It actually felt okay.
Good day you guys